Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Work Spouse

As I was going through my Google Reader early yesterday morning before the droves of co-workers flooded the office, I read a post on Behind These Hazel Eyes on the concept of a "work spouse". 

According to Hazel's blog post (and Wikipedia aka my Bible), a work spouse is "a co-worker (usually of the opposite sex) with whom one shares a close platonic relationship" and apparently this bond tends to mimic that of a real wife and husband. 

And I instantly thought of my old co-worker Ramon. 

At my first job out of college while I was still working in New York, I sat next to a pushing 45-year-old, jovial, Cuban man who shared my love of reality TV shows (oh, and he is gay so don't go getting any ideas that this story is gonna get all lovey dovey on you). 

And we were most definitely work spouses. We even called each other husband and wife at work, which to be honest I think creeped people out. We also fought frequently, went through some troubled times where we stopped talking, and just recently reunited while he was in Chicago for a meeting and took me out to dinner at Rosebud (can we say yum?). 

So while I was googling "work spouse", I came across an article from CNN Living which listed the top seven signs to tell if you have a work spouse. And it made me laugh because it just solidified that Ramon and I were a couple. 

1. You depend on a particular co-worker for office supplies, snacks or aspirin. 
Um...how about money?? Ramon and I would constantly go back and forth borrowing money. And he would constantly steal my aspirin. And together we were the snack king and queen of the office - we would go on snack runs together. Wow, I'm a tool. 

2. There are inside jokes you and a particular co-worker share. 
This is a no-brainer. Our favorite go-to's were anything about the shows Rock of Love and Kid Nation. He even called me Taylor for a nickname. Yea, figure that inside joke out. 

3. You can be bluntly honest about his or her appearance. 
I constantly made fun of Ramon for not dressing his age. And he would make fun of me whenever I didn't do my hair...which was almost everyday.

4. When something eventful at work happens, this is the person you go to for a de-briefing.
Ok, this one had me stumped. Because as much as I loved Ramon, he was a huge gossip so I did not go to him whenever I heard something juicy. But I know he always told me when he heard something delicious (because I usually already knew). 

5. At breakfast, lunch and coffee breaks, your co-worker could order for you and vice versa.
This is most definitely true. Ramon loved his Italian subs from Subway, his Cuban food from the place next to Subway, and pepperoni pizza from the pizza place next door. 

6. You and your co-worker can finish each other's sentences.
Creepy, but yes. 

7. Your co-worker knows just as much about your personal life as a real spouse or best friend would. 
Fact. Although I don't have a real spouse, Ramon knew a great deal about me. And I knew way too much about him and his boyfriends (multiple). 

Looking over this list, do any of you have a work husband or wife?

120 comments:

mrssoup said...

Oh my, yes. I had a lesbian relationship with my old co-worker Sandra. She was this tiny little Vietnamese girl and I am a 6 foot tall white chick. We were a pair. We started to get to be friends upon discovering similar ideals and then when I transfered back to the back of the office instead of working at the front desk, we became best buddies. I cannot count how many times we made Starbucks runs (she always got a Grande no foam double cup vanilla latte) and this yummy burrito place (not Chipotle, way better....beef burrito with rice, black beans, sour cream, no guac and would last her 3 lunches).

We talked relationships (she invited me to her wedding, I invited her to my baby shower), work (had nicknames for our co-workers ala Diva, Stinky, Grumpy, etc) and everything. So many inside jokes, including a running sand rat and exchanged Christmas gifts.

I miss her....

Danielle said...

Love it! I haven't had a work spouse myself but I used to work with my sister and she definitely has a work husband!
On a bad note, these relationships need serious monitoring - I have a friend currently going through divorce because she and her work husband became more than platonic!

golublog said...

There was an article in glamour about whether i work spouse counts as cheating.

The Novelista Barista said...

LOL wow i love that article... hahah so funnny and completely true!

Hazel said...

glad my post inspired one for you!

Marguerite said...

Great blog ya'll have here! I work at multiple locations every week, so I don't have a work spouse, but I have a few guy friends who fit this description.

ZuGab said...

OMG! I have a work spouse!
A working girl! her place is across the office, but she orders my meals, and finish my sentences, lol.
(Am I the only boy around here?)

High-heel gal said...

This is so true! Although I don't have a work spouse, since many of my co-workers are female, I defintiely think there is a sort of bond between co-workers that can only be understood if you are in the same line of work or work in the same environment (such as a school full of hormonal teens!)

marathoner81 said...

I think most people have work spouses! I'm a little weary of them though. I was dating someone who had a work spouse and then that evolved into something else...you see where I'm going with this. He missed the whole "Platonic" part of the work spouse relationship.

I have a work mom!

Bayjb said...

Oh my god I love that you brought this up because I was once called a "work wife." I also have a "work mom" but I was a total wife at my last job. I had no idea what that term meant though until I Googled it.

christinamg said...

Either I have Work Sisters....or i'm a Work Lesbian! ha ha. There are a few of us that regularly go to lunch together. Everyone knows it and if someone is missing everyone notices and comments. Sometimes we even let someone else "sit in" for the missing person/s. You have to be on the list to sit at our table. ha ha!

Then there are specific friends I go to when I hear work gossip and they come to me to steal excedrin or gum. I know who to call if I need a tampon, etc.

Then there are former co-workers who we are still in contact with. We have an "Idol Chat" email each week. There are about 6 of us and someone starts the email and we all reply to all and chat about Idol and other things. Sometimes we end up with tons of emails. It's a nice break from some pretty hectic work days.

The Watcher said...

Ive got a work Aunty at the moment, I even call her Aunty lol. And Ive been a work mom to a collegue who has since left, I used to even phone and book hairdresser appointments for him. I work with to many girls to have a work husband, I have lots of work sisters Id say. Two in perticular, I like to call us the Coven (in a joky way)

Tara said...

I totally had a work spouse at my old company. Some people actually thought we were married. Although I would have never been with him in "real life", I totally miss that guy.
It was nice saying "I need chocolate." and he'd go all around the office trying to hunt some down.

Cass said...

Ah, the Work Spouse. I know this one well, he was mine for 5 years and through the layoffs at our office I moved along to another company. But the best part is we work within a few blocks from each other so we still do lunch whenever we can.

He's the only guy friend I've had who doesn't want something "relationshippy" in return. He's married with kids (I adore his wife & little ones) and I'm with a BF who's not jealous about it. Yep, he's the main reason I miss that company.

The Smarter Princess said...

I developed such a huge crush on my work spouse, that now I'm actually trying to date him. eek!

Whitney said...

I love this post! I don't have one at the job I have now, but reading this makes me miss Louis at my old job! He and I were like an old odd couple, but it worked for us!

Karyn Beach said...

Like a few others I either have a Work Sister or I'm a Work Lesbian. I changed jobs a few months ago and I miss her terribly. I still remember her favorite lunch order from the cafein our office park. I know all about what her kids are up to and she gives me encouragement when I'm all wishy-washy about the BF. She was the best Work Sister ever!

I think I'm going to cry now...

Rachel said...

Loved reading all the comments...yes, I have a work spouse!

He heard me mentioning having to make a special extra trip to pick up one item and came back the next day going "I was out and saw this and figured I'd save you the trip" - what a friend! But it was when it got unexpectedly chilly last week, I hadn't thought I would need to bring a jacket, and he wouldn't let me go outside without his that my friend said "wow, you 2 are totally married..."

I love his family, he and my BF love to collectively make fun of me (and remind each other to "take care of me", awww) when they see each other...its awesome.

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