You’ll have to forgive my lack of personal posts lately. You see, work has been ridiculously stressful for the past couple of months. After running around like a mad woman all day, the last thing I want to do when I get home is sit down and write about work. I’d rather not relive the last 10 hours of madness, thankyouverymuch. My coworker once told me that summer is the craziest time of the year. She wasn’t kidding.
On top of all the craziness, we had our quarterly reviews last week. It was a time in which we got to “informally” sit down with our boss and have an open conversation about strengths, opportunities for growth (AKA weaknesses), etc. I spent a good chunk of time preparing for it so I could be on my toes in front of my boss, and I came to the meeting with a clear picture of what I felt my strengths were and what I could definitely work on.
So imagine my surprise when my boss chimed in about my weaknesses, not only agreeing with the ones I had, but adding to them and citing specific examples I didn’t even know she knew about. As in, things I had talked to my coworkers about. And small little hiccups I has encountered during my first 6 months on the job. And things that were overheard one afternoon. And a reaction I had in a meeting two months ago. And a flustered tone of voice I used once. I mean, really?!
I’ll be honest, I was a bit hurt because I could pinpoint exactly who said what. It was like they told on me. Who does that?! One example was when I vented a small frustration to my closest coworker. It blew over 10 seconds later, but somehow my boss knew about it and questioned me on it. Really?!
As the list of seemingly insignificant incidences continued to grow, I became more and more discouraged. I thought I was getting along great with my coworkers, but now it seems like they take everything I say and do and tattle on me. I understand that my boss might ask them how they think I’m doing, but it seems a bit excessive to be that detailed. Maybe I’m the crazy one here, but when I get time to sit down with my boss, I would never think to talk about my coworkers, especially in a negative sense. No way. One-on-one time is precious, so I use it to talk about my work, my goals, upcoming projects, etc. Silly me.
I understand that it was a review and was meant to provide me with opportunities to improve my performance. I get that. But honestly, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Now I feel like I have to watch everything I say and do with everyone I work with. I feel like I can’t vent or swap war stories anymore because I’m sure they’ll just turn around and tell on me. I have a complete lack of trust in my coworkers now, and it’s making me feel tense every time I’m with them. It’s like walking on eggshells all day long.
So, Working Girls, what do you think? Have you ever been in this situation? Should I talk to my coworkers about it? Or should I just try to keep my distance from now on?