Despite drinking and morning after situations, there is another location where I become awkward and that is the office kitchen.
My office actually has a nice kitchen - all new appliances, a nice island that seats four, all the green tea you could ever want, and a huge fridge for storing food. But I rarely venture in the kitchen because it usually results in me having to engage in conversation with people I don't know very well or want to avoid.
Example, a few weeks ago, I was heating up one of my tasty Lean Cuisine (sarcasm noted) when another co-worker of mine whom I had never met waltzed in. He was in obvious need of the microwave as well, so he patiently waited and waited as those 4 four minutes dragged out for eternity. And therein lies my problem. While those 4 minutes seemed to pass so slowly, I tried to make conversation. Yes, I realize this is the polite thing to do when in a co-worker-to-co-worker situation, but I was as awkward as awkward can get.
I brought up all sorts of topic convos - where are you from, how long is your commute, oh you have kids how nice. Then the microwave beeped and I checked on my Lean Cuisine and of course it was still frozen and still looked really unappetizing. So I began a new string of conversation about Wii. As many of you might know, my office just recently got Wii and all of the employees are supposed to make Mii characters. So I asked if he had made one. Can I just mention that this particular co-worker is probably over 50, has children, little knowledge of the English language, and apparently no interest in playing Wii at work. He looked at me blankly and we watched as the minutes on the microwave excruciatingly passed by.
It wouldn't be too bad if this didn't happen to me on a regular basis. Meaning me putting my foot in my mouth. Thankfully many of my co-workers find this endearing so I'm in pretty good shape. But my awkwardness has led me to avoid the office kitchen.
I walk in, grab my water, and walk out trying to avoid eye contact with anyone who might be heating up a bagel or peeling an orange.
Does anyone know where I can take classes on being less awkward in the office kitchen? Because I am need of those. STAT.