Screwing Around on the Job

Have you ever slept with someone just because you thought their job was sexy?

I recently came across this Marie Claire blog post written by a woman named Maura Kelly who recently met a glam & fab woman at a glitzy party. They got to talking about her interesting job - how she does high profile events and how she has access to things not a lot of other people do. The one drawback to her job? That guys are more into her because of her job and how she often wonders if they're sleeping with her or her job.

This whole concept got me thinking. My job is not nearly cool enough for people to envy me for it, but as an event planner I do get a lot of perks. You know, a free pen from Marriott, a bathrobe from the Gansevoort, a free meal, tickets to a Cubs game - all things that they try to throw at me so I use their hotel for an event. Sure these things are kinda cool, but definitely not something that would lure a guy in - or for a guy to try and screw me over for.

But I see this woman's point. We hear about gold digging women quite often (like in Kanye West songs), but what about the gold digging dudes? The guys out there looking for the hook up from women with cool jobs? We don't hear about them that often. And I'm not talking just guys out there who are looking for women with wealth, but women with perk-related jobs.

What kind of jobs do you think men go gaga over? My guesses would be anything having to do with modeling, acting, or sports-related. And yes, I just did a large stereotype. Sorry boys!

It also got me wondering about what kinds of jobs turn me on. I think a man in uniform - policemen, firemen, soldiers - all sort of turn my head (especially during Fleet Week - right WG1? Wink, wink). I have to admit anything finance related makes me yawn, but bring up writing and I'm instantly batting my eyelashes no matter what the dude looks like.

Hey Good Lookin'

These past few days at work have been hectic - you know, the kind of hectic where there are so many little things that have to get done that you can't accomplish anything of importance. 

One of those little things that has been going on was a manager meeting being held off-site at a new hotel in downtown Chicago. Since the hotel was a) new, b) had already gotten effed up booking my meeting space and c) was just down the street, I have been making a few trips back and forth during my work day to make sure the managers are all happy, fed, and satisfied. 

This afternoon, one of the tech guys and I took one of those trips down to the hotel to pick up the projector since the meeting was finally over (yippee!). We were kinda rushing because we had another meeting to get to pretty soon so I was pretty much half-running and he was just doing his normal gait (because I'm pretty short it's hard for me to catch up!), but despite my gazelle like walk-run we missed a walk light and had to wait at a red light.

No big deal right? No, because the awkward train decided to mosey on in right at that exact moment. We're standing on the street corner talking about Tech Guy's wife and her iced tea preferences when a homeless man comes near us and practically screams, "You guys make a cute couple" in our ears.

Which would have been laughable had he not screamed it again, "Cuteeeee couple! Yes, a cute couple!" And we just awkwardly stood there neither confirming nor denying that were were a couple. 

Thankfully the light turned green and we walked, but we were super awkward until we reached the hotel and Tech Guy changed the subject from how awk that was to how he rides his bike to work everyday. 

Tech Guy and I are pretty close at work - we chat throughout the day (mostly I think because we're two of the youngest employees and we gots to stick together yo) so I know this was only a teeny blip on the radar of our work relationship - something that down the line we'll be able to laugh at.

And I know he knows that I don't like him like that...oh you know since he has a WIFE and all.

But right this minute, we're still in Awky Town. Thanks homeless dude. Thanks a lot.

The Work Spouse

As I was going through my Google Reader early yesterday morning before the droves of co-workers flooded the office, I read a post on Behind These Hazel Eyes on the concept of a "work spouse". 

According to Hazel's blog post (and Wikipedia aka my Bible), a work spouse is "a co-worker (usually of the opposite sex) with whom one shares a close platonic relationship" and apparently this bond tends to mimic that of a real wife and husband. 

And I instantly thought of my old co-worker Ramon. 

At my first job out of college while I was still working in New York, I sat next to a pushing 45-year-old, jovial, Cuban man who shared my love of reality TV shows (oh, and he is gay so don't go getting any ideas that this story is gonna get all lovey dovey on you). 

And we were most definitely work spouses. We even called each other husband and wife at work, which to be honest I think creeped people out. We also fought frequently, went through some troubled times where we stopped talking, and just recently reunited while he was in Chicago for a meeting and took me out to dinner at Rosebud (can we say yum?). 

So while I was googling "work spouse", I came across an article from CNN Living which listed the top seven signs to tell if you have a work spouse. And it made me laugh because it just solidified that Ramon and I were a couple. 

1. You depend on a particular co-worker for office supplies, snacks or aspirin. 

Um...how about money?? Ramon and I would constantly go back and forth borrowing money. And he would constantly steal my aspirin. And together we were the snack king and queen of the office - we would go on snack runs together. Wow, I'm a tool. 

2. There are inside jokes you and a particular co-worker share. 

This is a no-brainer. Our favorite go-to's were anything about the shows Rock of Love and Kid Nation. He even called me Taylor for a nickname. Yea, figure that inside joke out. 

3. You can be bluntly honest about his or her appearance. 

I constantly made fun of Ramon for not dressing his age. And he would make fun of me whenever I didn't do my hair...which was almost everyday.

4. When something eventful at work happens, this is the person you go to for a de-briefing.

Ok, this one had me stumped. Because as much as I loved Ramon, he was a huge gossip so I did not go to him whenever I heard something juicy. But I know he always told me when he heard something delicious (because I usually already knew). 

5. At breakfast, lunch and coffee breaks, your co-worker could order for you and vice versa.

This is most definitely true. Ramon loved his Italian subs from Subway, his Cuban food from the place next to Subway, and pepperoni pizza from the pizza place next door. 

6. You and your co-worker can finish each other's sentences.

Creepy, but yes. 

7. Your co-worker knows just as much about your personal life as a real spouse or best friend would. 

Fact. Although I don't have a real spouse, Ramon knew a great deal about me. And I knew way too much about him and his boyfriends (multiple). 

Looking over this list, do any of you have a work husband or wife?

I Made the Same Mistake Twice

I'm one of those people who is very into their birthdays. I've been known to celebrate not just on March 10th (yes, my bday was yesterday!), but for the whole month of March. For example, this year I managed to snag a dinner date with my dad, a birthday soiree party last weekend, and tomorrow some friends are taking me out bowling. And my birthday present this year was a flight to NYC so next week I will be celebrating my birthday (oh, and WG1's too). 

Point being, I love my birthday. Usually about a month before my fated day, I begin announcing it to anyone who will listen. Last year I publicized my birthday enough at my old workplace that some people bought me cupcakes, sang happy birthday to me, and bought me presents. But this year was a much different situation. I've only been at my new job for 4 months so putting my birthday on people's Outlook calendars didn't seem kosher (just kidding, I definitely did NOT do that last year). 

This year only a few people knew of my birthday - one of these people was Bill. Bill is our new IT guy who replaced Jay (the IT dude I thought had a crush on me). He and I started around the same time so he stops by desk at least once a day and mostly he tells me stories about his wife and crazy stories from his after work bar-tending gig. 

So one day, I of course let it slip that it was my birthday the following week and that I was turning 24. To which Bill responded, "Aw man, I'm 24 too! We must be the youngest people in the company!"

Insert dropped jaw here. 

To understand my shock, I guess you have to realize that Bill first of all looks much older than 24. He has facial hair, which always throws me off. And he's married. So when I see rings on fingers, I automatically assume that I'm talking with someone in their late 20's. I can't help it. 

And I didn't make this mistake just once. A few months earlier when I was in Atlanta for our conference, a co-worker of mine, Carlos, and I were eating dinner together when he got a call from his wife. He disappeared from our table and was gone so long his food got cold. When I asked another co-worker if they had seen him they laughed and said this happened all the time since his wife is so young that she often picks fights with him. Of course, I then inquired how old she in fact was. Apparently, she is the ripe young age of 22. 

Insert dropped jaw here.

Color me surprised when I found out he was actually in his mid-twenties and not over 30 like I had previously thought. Again, I had assumed Carlos was older not only because he was married, but also he had facial hair.

Moral of this working girl awkward moment, don't assume someone is over 25 just because they can grow facial hair. Oh, and also if they have a ring on their left finger. 

Valentine's Day is for Suckers

Dear Cupid,

Valentine's Day has always been pretty rough for me. I've never had a boyfriend to speak of when the holiday rolls around. And this year has been no different. 

Last year, I experienced my first Valentine's Day in the workplace which I observed was a lot like grade school. It's like all of a sudden we're keeping track of which girl got the most gifts, the most flowers, and the most praise on this day of 'love' than anything else. Last year, I watched as girls received bouquets upon bouquets of flowers, chocolates and teddy bears (yes, there were even teddy bears) at their desks at work. And my gay bff and husband at the time felt so bad for me that he gave me a tube of Dermalogica cover-up he found in the beauty closet as a gift. Lame, I know. 

This year, I could not be more excited that Valentine's Day has decided to give all us single Working Girls a break. This year, Valentine's Day is on a Saturday. Which means, yea, maybe a few girls will get flowers and balloons and singing telegrams tomorrow at work...but most boyfriends and husbands will be saving up their energy for the actual day. In turn, I not only will we be saved the humiliation of not receiving any gifts, but I also won't have to watch other women get all lovey-dovey, make faces like they want to cry from happiness, and jump for joy when they realize that yes, he really does love me. 

Can you tell February 14th makes me bitter? 

Maybe so, but Cupid thank you, thank you, thank you for letting us dodge the bullet this year. 

Love,

WG2 

Not So Crazy in Love

So I never really did figure out if Jay was asking me out or not. 

Equipped with all of your comments and suggestions on how to deflect his love, embrace his offer of free drinks, and ideas of how to let him know I just wasn't that into him, I went to work last week ready to shoot him down gently (by telling him I was so, so, so, so busy when in reality I was really busy eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby). 

But Jay never put his offer out there to grab drinks again. In fact, he barely spoke to me the last few days he was in the Chicago office. 

On his last day, I was working late again. Some of the IT guys took him downstairs to grab some Berry Chill before coming back upstairs to test the phones and do all that other IT stuff they do in that cave of theirs. As I was leaving, I gave Jay a hug and wished him luck. And that was that. We promised to stay in touch, but I knew that probably wouldn't happen. We'd known each other for a measly month and there is no real attachment/attraction on my part. 

On Monday, I came to work and sat down and in front of my computer screen was a tiny bottle of Visine with a note that said, "Just in case -Jay". (Quick background: one day, my contacts were really bothering me and were all blurry so Jay saved me by giving me some eye drops). Which was a nice gesture...but also bizarre.

So now I have a bottle of eye drops to remind me of my non-existent relationship with the IT guy Jay. Cool?  

Chivalry Is Alive and Kicking in the Midwest

Back in July, I wrote a post about chivalry being dead on my morning commute. If you look back and read the post and then read the comments, you might see that the post wasn't received too well.

And I think I now realize why. It's because all our readers are from different parts of the country/world. When I wrote that post, I was making a sweeping generalization of all men being a-holes when commuting. So, I would like to revise my statement because back then I was commuting in and out of New York City on a daily basis. Since I moved back to Chicago, I've found my commuting experience to be completely and totally different than my experience out east. I have found that men in Chicago (and I'm going to guess most of the Midwest as well) are very chivalrous even in the mornings before they've had their coffee for the day. 

The one thing I have consistently told friends about how much I enjoy Chicago compared to NYC is how people here are so nice. I say this like I didn't grow up here, but I think having been out east for 6 years made me forget. 

I get in cabs, and the cab drivers ask me how my day is going or talk about the weather. (I was in a cab the other day, and the cab driver asked me if it was okay if he used his phone! I was so shocked, I almost didn't answer.) People smile at each other on the streets. People I don't even know say 'hi' to me. This obviously did not occur on a daily basis in New York.  In NYC, you avoid each other's eyes and if you do catch each other staring, you don't say 'hi'...you look away. 

But what has really shocked me is that all my gripes in my previous post on chivalry being dead have been proved wrong. On my commute in the Windy City, I have witnessed things I never thought I would get the chance to see. I have seen numerous (not just one, but many!) men give up their seats to elderly women, pregnant women, and sometimes women in general on the bus and on the L. Doors on the bus and at my office have been held open for me countless times. And at work, men make sure that women get on and off the elevator before them. 

This isn't to say I haven't seen some men not hold open doors, but for the most part I've been pleasantly surprised at how different men act during their commutes in Chicago as opposed to Hoboken or New York. 

And I have to say, I'm getting used to being treated like a lady. 

Did He Just Ask Me Out?

I make fun of WG1 a lot for being one of those girls who is just too nice. You know, the girl in the bar who will talk to a guy for an hour because she feels guilty saying she's not interested. However, I have to counter that with the fact that some nights she is the exact opposite of that girl. Oh, WG1, she is such a conundrum. Point being, I am not that girl. If I don't like you, I will tell you (at least when I've had one too many tequila shots). 

So color me surprised but I think I'm in that situation, but my particular sitch is minus the bar and tequila and set instead in the office. And I'm dumbfounded. 

Ok, well we're probably going to have to start at the beginning for this one. I started almost two months ago at my new job. I've made a small amount of friends since I've been here. Two I met while at the conference, one I met at training, and the third I met while he was hooking up my computer. Apparently, I have a knack for being friends with IT guys. And I mean, who doesn't want the IT hook-up? Being friends with peeps in IT has its perks. 

So one of the first people I met at my new job was Jay. He set up my computer and then helped me set up my new Yahoo messenger (something I'm still not used to - using IM at work is foreign to me). Since that first day, Jay has always come around my desk to check on me, but I had always just thought he was being friendly/nice to the new girl. Then he would just stop by to chat, which at the time was so nice. I didn't know anyone yet! He filled me in on gossip (which is my weakness) and we'd chat about frivolous things which helps during a hectic workday. 

Then two weeks ago, I found out that Jay had given his two week's notice (except he really gave a month's notice). The whole thing had been kinda kept under wraps, which I had thought was weird. But Jay said he was just moving down to Miami, and since our company also has an office there he will still be with the company just in a different capacity. I was bummed, but definitely not so upset that it fazed me in any which way. 

So yesterday, I stayed late at work to finish up tallying the evaluation forms from the conference in Atlanta. Jay had also stayed late to finish up some things and the following conversation occurred over IM (which still boggles my mind that corporations use as a form of communication). 

Jay: U still here?

WG2: Yep, had to stay late tonight. 

Jay: your Internet working? 

WG2: Yea, I think so...why has it not been working today? 

Jay: ...um...obviously it's working...you're on right now...

Jay: I just wanted to make sure it wasn't slow at all today so I can reboot the server

WG2: Right....wow...I obviously have had a long day haha

Jay: Haha, that's ok

Jay: that's why I like you

Jay: Do u drink? 

WG2: yep

Jay: before I leave, we should go grab a drink sometime and talk

(Please note, I didn't know how to respond so I just didn't respond like any mature adult would do in this situation). 

Jay: But only if you want to...no pressure :) 

WG2: haha, no, yea, sure

Ok, so this convo I just sputtered out above is not verbatim. I know I missed some parts of our convo, but these were the points that stuck out to me. 

Maybe I'm crazy, but last night I was pretty sure that Jay was hitting on me. I know I could just be imagining things, reading into stuff that isn't significant. But I'm pretty sure I'm stepping into unknown territory with this. 

I am in no way attracted to Jay at all. He is a nice, solid guy. Someone that would have been great to have as an office buddy and I'm totally sad that he's leaving. But would I want to grab a drink with him before he leaves for Miami? No, probably not. You're moving to a different state...that requires a plane ride to visit on a moment's notice. Odds are that we're not gonna start dating. I guess I don't understand why he'd even bother asking me out, which is why I'm questioning the fact of did he/didn't he just ask me out. So am I exaggerating this situation here? Am I making this up out of thin air? 

And please, please readers tell me what to do. Because I'm at a loss for words. 

Chivalry Is Dead (But Only in the Mornings)

My commute compared to others is quite simple. I walk to the PATH, I get on the PATH, ride a few stops, get off and walk a few blocks to my office.

For such a simple commute, one would think that getting from Point A to Point B would be relatively painless. But of course this is never true. I've complained and whined about commuting PDA (and how it should be banned completely), but now I have something new to complain about. My new gripe: how men become complete a-holes when commuting.

I am not one of those girls that complain about chivalry being dead. Just to preface, I like to think of myself as bit of a feminist (I go on tirades about feminism when drunk so don't get me started) so I'm not going to stare down a m. And while I do think that I, as a woman, am capable of most things that men are, I don't think that means that all the rules of respect between men and women should be discarded. I'm pretty traditional in that I like having my chair pulled out for me at a nice restaurant or having a guy hold the door open for me as I enter my apartment. To me these rules of etiquette are just a gesture of respect.

I feel like most men are good about these rules. Holding doors, helping me with my groceries are just little things that I have experienced lately that make me have faith in chivalry.

That is, until I step out of my apartment building at 8 a.m. Because it seems that all the rules of respect and chivalry are thrown to the wayside when men are commuting.

Yesterday morning, I witnessed a woman juggle a baby (who was so effing adorable btw), the baby's bottle/pacifier/baby bag, and her files for the day and no one offered her their seat. And let me tell you there were plenty of males in those plastic seats who could have gotten off their Crackberries to let her sit down. Can we say rude?

And the rudeness doesn't just stop at the subway and not offering seats to ladies who are obviously preggers, it follows me all the way to the office. Literally, I was practically run over by a gaggle of men fighting me to get into the elevator this morning. Are you kidding me? I was obviously here before you and I'm a woman! Please don't body check me so you can get to your floor first.

Bus rides seem to have a similar effect on men. A bus stops and men literally jump over women, pushing and shoving, to get off first. Which leaves me to ask, where has all the chivalry gone on my morning commute?

All I'm asking for is a little respect - a hand gesture indicating that I can exit the bus first, or an offer that I can have that seat on the subway, or holding the elevator for one second longer as I race into work 10 minutes late.

I need more chivalry on my morning commute.

I Kissed A Coworker and I Liked It

Ok, I didn't hook up with a coworker. In fact, when I told WG2 that I was going to write about hooking up with coworkers she sarcastically said to me "Why? Because you have so much experience?"

She's right, I have little experience hooking up with coworkers. Unless you count when I was the commentary editor of my college newspaper and I started hooking up with the editor in chief. Yes, my working boy and I have quite the dorky story. But that doesn't mean we didn't get hot and heavy once or twice. Ok, just once and we got interrupted. Awkward.

WG2 actually has her own story about hooking up with a coworker but I'll let her tell that one herself. I'm going to tell you a story about my friend, we'll call her LP after her favorite designer Lilly Pulitzer, who innocently went to happy hour and hooked up with a coworker. LP works in the financial district, what she does exactly, I have no idea. But she works with many a hot working boy.

Now, LP loves her white wine almost as much as she loves a preppy boy in a collared shirt and pink gingham oxford shorts. This happy hour she got plenty of both. And plenty of Grey Goose. We'll call LP's hookup BW. BW told LP that he would take her home because she was drunk. LP could have taken a company paid car home but what's a drunk Working Girl to do? In this case, go with the working boy. I won't go into detail about what exactly happened when they hooked up because (a) she didn't tell me and (b) we're not that kind of blog.

The next day is what really matters, as it always does after a drunken hook up. The next day, LP was not in a good place. She was hungover. BW, knowing she would have a raging hangover, kindly brought her a water in the morning. Later in the day, her coworkers kindly informed her that he was married.

After the fateful night, LP and BW went to lunch a few times and LP noticed that this working boy doesn't wear his wedding band. Either he is a bad husband or he really isn't married. That is still to be determined. Either way, LP came to the conclusion that another hook up was not in the future. That was until the Training Class Graduation happy hour. There was more white wine, more Grey Goose shots and more of preppy BW. A party soon followed at a nearby apartment. Long story short, LP and BW proceeded to hook up in the master bedroom.

Every so often BW brings LP coffee. LP doesn't even like coffee, she drinks Sunkist Orange Soda for breakfast, but everytime he brings it she pretends that she does. And that's just the beginning of the awkwardness...

1, 2, 3, 4, 5

I've always had celebrity crushes. The first was Taylor Hanson. I thought I was going to marry him. Then there was Nick Carter. I also thought I was going to marry him. I grew out of my celebrity boy craziness in high school. But the crushes have returned. Not on Taylor and Nick, although they will both hold a special place in my heart.

In between meetings and dealing with clients my coworkers and I e-mail one another about office gossip, exciting happenings in our lives and most importantly our Top Five. 

The Top Five is an easy concept that one of my coworkers recently brought to our attention. Choose your top five celebrity crushes, any way you want: by personality, looks, their music, their movies, etc. I have been known to choose my top five based on the most recent TV shows and movies I've watched. My list also includes guys that most people have to imdb. 

Let's get to my list:

1. Jim Sturgess - After seeing Across the Universe last weekend, he has skyrocketed to the top of my list. My teenybopper self fell for him after seeing just one face he made in the movie. Please see the face he makes at 2:00 in this video. It might just be me, but I love it. Not to mention he can sing and has a british accent. 

2. Scott M. Foster - He plays Cappie on ABC Family's Greek. I know you watch it, don't be embarrassed. For a long time I thought WG2 and I were the only 23-year-olds watching. I have since learned that two of my coworkers also watch the dramedy geared towards High Schoolers. Those poor kids are going to have such a distorted view of college. I mean, the Zeta Beta's would totally have had kegs in the backyard after Lizzy left and how come no one ever acts drunk? Right, it's on ABC Family at 8pm. 

3. Christian Bale - Newsies, anyone? Is it weird that I'm more attracted to the Christian Bale in Newsies than I am to the Christian Bale in Batman?

4. Danny Pino - I love a good crime show but they scare me to death. But after watching a marathon of dvr-ed episodes of Cold Case, I can sleep easy knowing that a detective like Danny's character Scotty Valens will save me. Although, Cold Case is about old homicide cases, so Scotty Valens saving me probably wouldn't be a good thing.

5. Matthew Fox - Matthew isn't a regular on my list but Lost is finally back and I just saw a preview for his new movie Speed Racer. 

That is my Top Five. Oh, I almost forgot my silver fox. My silver fox is Christopher Meloni from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. So Working Girls, you have a top five and a silver fox, get working on that list!

Note: my coworker who started this has made a rule that George Clooney cannot be a silver fox. He must hold a spot on the top five. Her reasoning: "he would be everyone's silver fox" and "there is just so much hotness that he needs a spot." But, she also had Top Chef's Tom Colicchio on her list for a while. So, take her rule however you'd like.