Screwing Around on the Job

Have you ever slept with someone just because you thought their job was sexy?

I recently came across this Marie Claire blog post written by a woman named Maura Kelly who recently met a glam & fab woman at a glitzy party. They got to talking about her interesting job - how she does high profile events and how she has access to things not a lot of other people do. The one drawback to her job? That guys are more into her because of her job and how she often wonders if they're sleeping with her or her job.

This whole concept got me thinking. My job is not nearly cool enough for people to envy me for it, but as an event planner I do get a lot of perks. You know, a free pen from Marriott, a bathrobe from the Gansevoort, a free meal, tickets to a Cubs game - all things that they try to throw at me so I use their hotel for an event. Sure these things are kinda cool, but definitely not something that would lure a guy in - or for a guy to try and screw me over for.

But I see this woman's point. We hear about gold digging women quite often (like in Kanye West songs), but what about the gold digging dudes? The guys out there looking for the hook up from women with cool jobs? We don't hear about them that often. And I'm not talking just guys out there who are looking for women with wealth, but women with perk-related jobs.

What kind of jobs do you think men go gaga over? My guesses would be anything having to do with modeling, acting, or sports-related. And yes, I just did a large stereotype. Sorry boys!

It also got me wondering about what kinds of jobs turn me on. I think a man in uniform - policemen, firemen, soldiers - all sort of turn my head (especially during Fleet Week - right WG1? Wink, wink). I have to admit anything finance related makes me yawn, but bring up writing and I'm instantly batting my eyelashes no matter what the dude looks like.

Women in the Working World are Emotional, Grudge-Holding, Bitches...Say What?

I have no idea where my career will take me in 10 months or 10 years but I like to think that one day, I'll be the boss and I'll be a good one. Paul Thompson at AskMen.com Canada doesn't think I can be a boss, let alone a good one. Oh and not just me, all women. Nice Paul, nice.

Thompson begins his editorial explaining the obstacles women have overcome or tried to overcome for equality and fairness; suffrage, sexual harassment, workplace equality, etc. "Anyone who says [women] are [equal] is either grossly misinformed or a woman -- or probably both," he says. Yes, I am a woman but I'm not misinformed. I believe women are equal to men. However, I think that anyone who believes in or strives for complete fairness among men and women is grossly misinformed. More on that shortly.

"Women are ill-equipped to be successful," he says and give several reasons.

First, women cannot control their emotions. What a sweeping generalization there, Paul. Sure some women cannot control their emotions. But there are plenty who can. There are also a great deal of men who cannot control their emotions. I've heard of women yelling in the workplace and I've heard of men yell. Same goes for crying. Now Thompson believes that women bosses treat their employees as if they are in a relationship. Um, they should. When you work with someone, you have a working relationship. Regardless of being a man or a woman, any working relationship needs to be nurtured and developed so that both parties are getting the most of the experience.

His next point is that all women have Queen Bee syndrome. When they reach positions of power, they turn on one another because they feel the need to defend the positions they've obtained. Oh, and they aren't qualified or competent. I know several women who have Queen Bee syndrome and I know, they are not exactly the most enjoyable people I've ever known. But they don't make up the entire female work force. Yes, women can become competitive with one another and get caught up in the race to the top. But bottom line, there are women who are qualified to be there and competent enough to excel.

"Business was built by men, for men," Thompson says. In this argument Thompson discusses dark lounges and pant suits. Not sure exactly how that related to the origins of business but what he's trying to say is that in order to be successful women must adopt masculine qualities. I'd prefer not to wear a pants suit, mostly only because I went shopping for my first suit with my 80-year-old grandma and it was a tramatizing experience, but I don't think putting one on and shaking someones hand in a dark lounge to close a deal would make me masculine.

Finally, women hold grudges. I'll be the first to admit that I've held several grudges in my life and that maybe I'm still holding on to a couple. None of them are work related and all of them are legitimate. But, according to Thompson, grudges are "completely irrational and completely inappropriate." I agree that it is inappropriate in the work place to hold a personal grudge. But again, Thompson believes that because some women go too far with their grudges, women as a whole, cannot be bosses.

"Women are better than men at some things, but being the boss sure ain’t one of 'em," Thompson closes his piece. This brings me back to fairness among men and women. I believe men and women are equal and that in all areas of life they should have equal opportunities. However, as our friend Paul so nicely points out, women excel at some things and men at others. In some industries a female boss may be a more successful boss than a male boss and vice versa.

I have a male boss and a female boss and they are both great bosses. I have a different working relationship with each of them, just like I have a different working relationship with each of my co-workers. Clearly, women can be bosses. Thompson was likely just trying to be satircal but what bothers me is that his points stem from somewhere - stereotypes.

[AskMen.com via Jezebel]

I'll Have Some Tongue With My Coffee Please

It's a Saturday night in college. I'm at our local senior bar casually drinking my vodka 180 and contemplating double fisting this evening and ordering a Bud Light. One of the beloved senior couples comes crashing into me and I witness a full on make-out session. This occurred on a nightly basis (with maybe the couple would change from time to time) and I came to expect it like one would expect for the printer to stop working once you need to make copies for a super important meeting.

I never thought though that after graduating college I would witness these daily macking moments soberly on my daily transportation to and from work. Obviously I have seen my fair share of PDA in my 23 years - sometimes a quick peck on the cheek or even things that have made me blush. Lately I feel as though PDA has taken a turn for the worse to the point where I can see taste buds, yes taste buds. 

Maybe it's because I'm single, but I just don't understand the need for all the morning foreplay before the work day begins. It starts with hand holding, whispering in each other's ears and quickly turns to making out four subway stations before you have to say goodbye. Newsflash to my fellow subway riders: this is not an airport and you will see each other in 8 hours. In most cases, I'm guessing you exhibitionists co-habitat from that huge diamond ring her left hand so can we leave the Slobber Fest '08 in the bedroom? 

And it's not so much that they'll see each other soon (since you never know what can happen in 8 hours), but what bothers me the most about subway PDA is the fact that the morning rush means that a lot of bodies are going to be crushed into one small car that is hurtling underground. In my experience and during my intense research, these couples rarely hold onto things (the male thinking he is manly enough to keep them both standing), which causes a lot of bumping, falling, and awkwardness for those around said couple. Not to mention that I'm usually close enough to the twosome that if they asked me to join them in a "triple kiss" that it wouldn't be out of the question (that is if I wanted to join). 

It's possible I'm just being bitter (very possible), but I don't think I'm wrong when I ask that the subway PDA be kept to minimum. My rules are simple to adhere to and I think they should be etched into every subway car in New Jersey and New York. 

1. No tongue before 3 p.m. 
2. Hold onto something so you don't step on my new heels fourteen times on our way to 23rd street (and each other does not count).
3. Keep the slurping noises to a minimum - as in none. 
4. Licking of ears. Yikes. Just no. Not okay.

4 simple rules. That's it folks. That's all I'm asking. 

Or maybe we should just institute an "all couples" car? Thoughts? 

Sex & The City Mania Hits An Office Near You

This morning, a co-worker and I were discussing our plans for tonight. While he is planning on hitting up a few dive bars with his buddies, I have decided to class it up a bit. Tonight is the premiere of the Sex and the City Movie and my girlfriends and I are going out for a nice dinner (with lots of wine, champagne and cosmos) and then going to see the movie at 10:45 p.m. (just in case you care what time I'm going to see the movie).

Before I could utter the word 'cosmo' to my co-worker, I heard squeals coming from the kitchen and then out burst our Vice President of our Publishing Group jumping and screaming, "Sex and the City! Sex and the City! Woohoo!" into our reception area where my co-worker and I were discussing our Friday night plans.

My jaw dropped. It's not like our VP is an unaturally quiet woman or anything, but her squeals attracted the entire office to come see what was wrong. 'No, no problem,' she admitted. 'I'm just so excited for the SATC premiere tonight. I have tickets to the 11 p.m. showing.' Most of our male co-workers went back about their business, but the rest of us just spent a good 15 minutes discussing our plans for tonight's premiere.

Sex & The City mania has officially hit my office.

For example, Small Fry took the day off so she could go to the 10 a.m. viewing and watch the movie without the crowds. One of my co-workers made her husband take the day off so she could stay in the city after work to see the movie and get martinis afterwards with her "bff's".

And my 45-year-old, gay and Cuban best friend at work has decided to leave at 4:00 to go see the 4:15 viewing at the theater down the street. And his ticket to getting out of work early? He's taking his boss to the movie with him (and he even bought her a bottle of pink champagne).

SATC is the talk of my company today. When they're going to see the show, what they're wearing, what they're eating before, what they're drinking after.

And I just can't help chiming in that I'm going to be drinking pink champagne, eating dinner at Borough Food and Drink, and seeing the Sex and the City Movie with my best girlfriends at 10:45 p.m.!

Let's Talk About Sex

If I had to use one work to describe my internship at Cosmopolitan, it would be Sex.

Those of you who are Cosmo readers may be familiar with the "Red Hot Read" section in the back of the magazine. For those of you who are not familiar, "Red Hot Read" features a steamy, sexy, and sensual "love" scene from an upcoming novel.

My job as the Books Intern was to sort through every single trashy romance novel, aphrodisiac cookbook, and how-to-knit your own lingerie book that arrived in the Cosmo office and find the sex scenes. (Please, don't tell my grandmother.) I called myself the Sex Books Intern, I thought it described my position much better. No pun intended.

I sat in Workroom C of the Cosmo office, which was basically a closet with a chair, desk and computer hidden amongst towering bookshelves. I don't think anyone but my boss knew I was there. I was often kicked out asked to leave my workroom when Editor In Chief Kate White's hair and make-up people came. My workroom would then become a dressing room and I would be a lost intern without a place to work. 

Everyday of my internship, I was to read, recap, and rate the books and the sex scenes. Needless to say, I learned a thing or two about how-to turn on your man and how many adjectives could be used to describe sex. Some of them would make Helen Gurley Brown herself blush. 

After several weeks of reading, recapping, and rating, my editorial dream came true. I was given the opportunity to write. 

"Working Girl One," my boss said. "I need you to edit this." He placed an upcoming "Red Hot Read" in front of me. "Also, we think it needs something more, so we need you to write a paragraph or two."

This was an opportunity of a lifetime; a lowly intern gets to write for Cosmo. Okay, so it wasn't my own story and my name wouldn't appear anywhere near it. But this was pretty exciting and a nice change from reading about sex all day long.

"We need you to write some more foreplay, I marked were it needs to be added," he said and walked away. 

Foreplay?

"I can do this," I thought to myself and took a deep breath. "I'll draw from personal experience." Let's just say, that didn't really get me anywhere. Thankfully, from reading foreplay and sex scenes for weeks and weeks, I was able to write something decent. As embarrassing as it was to write the foreplay, it was much more embarrassing to stand over my boss's desk as he read the foreplay I had written.

He must have like it because soon after, for the same "Red Hot Read," I was asked to come up with a few headline and sub-headline ideas. Patiently waiting for him to read those was just as embarrassing. But, it was worth it. The foreplay, headline and sub-headline I had written all appeared in the January 2007 issue of Cosmo. 

New Year, New Man, New Desires