Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Women in the Working World are Emotional, Grudge-Holding, Bitches...Say What?

I have no idea where my career will take me in 10 months or 10 years but I like to think that one day, I'll be the boss and I'll be a good one. Paul Thompson at AskMen.com Canada doesn't think I can be a boss, let alone a good one. Oh and not just me, all women. Nice Paul, nice.

Thompson begins his editorial explaining the obstacles women have overcome or tried to overcome for equality and fairness; suffrage, sexual harassment, workplace equality, etc. "Anyone who says [women] are [equal] is either grossly misinformed or a woman -- or probably both," he says. Yes, I am a woman but I'm not misinformed. I believe women are equal to men. However, I think that anyone who believes in or strives for complete fairness among men and women is grossly misinformed. More on that shortly.

"Women are ill-equipped to be successful," he says and give several reasons.

First, women cannot control their emotions. What a sweeping generalization there, Paul. Sure some women cannot control their emotions. But there are plenty who can. There are also a great deal of men who cannot control their emotions. I've heard of women yelling in the workplace and I've heard of men yell. Same goes for crying. Now Thompson believes that women bosses treat their employees as if they are in a relationship. Um, they should. When you work with someone, you have a working relationship. Regardless of being a man or a woman, any working relationship needs to be nurtured and developed so that both parties are getting the most of the experience.

His next point is that all women have Queen Bee syndrome. When they reach positions of power, they turn on one another because they feel the need to defend the positions they've obtained. Oh, and they aren't qualified or competent. I know several women who have Queen Bee syndrome and I know, they are not exactly the most enjoyable people I've ever known. But they don't make up the entire female work force. Yes, women can become competitive with one another and get caught up in the race to the top. But bottom line, there are women who are qualified to be there and competent enough to excel.

"Business was built by men, for men," Thompson says. In this argument Thompson discusses dark lounges and pant suits. Not sure exactly how that related to the origins of business but what he's trying to say is that in order to be successful women must adopt masculine qualities. I'd prefer not to wear a pants suit, mostly only because I went shopping for my first suit with my 80-year-old grandma and it was a tramatizing experience, but I don't think putting one on and shaking someones hand in a dark lounge to close a deal would make me masculine.

Finally, women hold grudges. I'll be the first to admit that I've held several grudges in my life and that maybe I'm still holding on to a couple. None of them are work related and all of them are legitimate. But, according to Thompson, grudges are "completely irrational and completely inappropriate." I agree that it is inappropriate in the work place to hold a personal grudge. But again, Thompson believes that because some women go too far with their grudges, women as a whole, cannot be bosses.

"Women are better than men at some things, but being the boss sure ain’t one of 'em," Thompson closes his piece. This brings me back to fairness among men and women. I believe men and women are equal and that in all areas of life they should have equal opportunities. However, as our friend Paul so nicely points out, women excel at some things and men at others. In some industries a female boss may be a more successful boss than a male boss and vice versa.

I have a male boss and a female boss and they are both great bosses. I have a different working relationship with each of them, just like I have a different working relationship with each of my co-workers. Clearly, women can be bosses. Thompson was likely just trying to be satircal but what bothers me is that his points stem from somewhere - stereotypes.

[AskMen.com via Jezebel]

31 comments:

Naturally Frugal said...

This is all a bunch of bullshit and probably a marketing tool as well. Way to go Paul, way to go.

I work with some of the most talented scientists in the world, who are also women, who also run entire research facilities and are damn good at it. They don't have "queen bee" syndrome and are more than happy to collaborate with others to reach a common goal. Seeing stong women in the workplace is inspiring to me, and helps me believe that I can become a good role model for young women as well as have a fulfilling career in my field of choice.

Practically Perfect... said...

Oh my gosh. What an arrogant jerk! Ugh. Sounds to me like he's had a bad experience with a female boss, and he's the one holding a grudge - against all women in the workplace!

Liz said...

It's so frustrating to know that this stereotypes affect women all the time! We need to make society more conscious about equality in men and women but we have to start with ourselves, believing it!

belsmusings said...

What a great post - thanks for bringing this up as I was convinced this inequality didn't exist anymore!! Obviously it does, and obviously these views are arrogant and medieval! I think that women can be better bosses than some men - we have the traits of patience, nurture and empathy, as well as firmness, strength and leadership. Arrogant and narcissistic men are usually threatened by strong women, and I guess that's where this opinion would stem from....

blaqbird said...

read the original article. two words: hot mess.

Ginger said...

All early community and society was based on matriarchal rule, not patriarchal, that didn't come until later.

It's stupid that men think they should rule everything when in fact it was woman who was born to rule over her family and community.

Ideally "ruling" would be shared equally by both a man and a woman. There are two sexes for a reason and that reason is BALANCE.

Lauren said...

Here are the only blanket statements we can make on Paul's article full of blanket statements: There are bad bosses who are women and there are bad bosses who are men. There are also good bosses who are women and good bosses who are men. That is all.

Sarah said...

The office I work at currently consists of all women and I get really, really sick of people saying we need a man around any time a conflict between coworkers comes up.

There are just as many immature and unprofessional men out there in the workforce as there are women!

Amy said...

What a douchebag. Queen Bee syndrome? I'd say Paul has been passed over for a promotion in favour of a woman and now he has an axe to grind.

Kate Kavanaugh said...

Hi! I had to go ahead and write my own post about this... it was infuriating and pretty much broke every rule of proper writing and research that there is... no surprisingly.

I love reading this blog!!

KK.
http://katekavanaugh.com

B said...

Amen.

Well said, WG1!!!

rads said...

Total bollocks..I agree with you and at a place of work what sex you are doesn't and shouldn't matter, it is the work that everybody should be concerned with and I've worked with a lot of women bosses who are quite capable and commendable when it comes to managing a company or team.

The DC Blonde said...

That's saying it!

P said...

Pratically Perfect - That was my thought! I also wonder his wife or girlfriend might say about his opinions.

AVON Lady said...

What a bunch of crazy talk from him, I work at a school with almost all women in addition to selling AVON on the side. Not everyone wants to be in charge that's a woman. In fact about 50% of the time I think working with women is an added bonus. You can't find a great place for support in everything you do. I hope he enjoyed writing all that nonsense. I'd say with my counseling background he's got "woman" issues big time :) I don't think he'd last long with me in charge. I run my department and we have a no room for nonsense policy, he wouldn't fit in at all .
The AVON Lady :)

Danielle said...

Wow. Paul couldn't possibly be a bigger idiot!

Playful Professional said...

I think it has absolutely nothing to do with gender and everything to do with the specific person. There are great male and female bosses out there and not so great ones as well.

Trixie Buxom said...

Hmmm so it's a better work life if a man is in charge? Let me tell you a little story.

My ex is a supervisor in a construction firm. One day he got into an argument with an electrician working the job. Long story short, the electricians head went through some fresh drywall.

Yup. That's definitely better than a woman.

Sai said...

Gr8 posting and very good write up. Blog to is very neatly designed. Keep up the good work dear friend. God bless.

Kimberley said...

Oh my Lord!!

I'd love to say whats on my mind, but its only 10am, and its not really appropriate for me to spew profanities quite so early in the day.

Instead I WILL say, what a LOAD of codswallop. In the pharmaceutical industry women far outnumber men - and yet we seem to be holding up ok.


Pfft!

{insert sweeping generalisations about men here}

Nelle said...

UGH! What arrogance! Unbelievable how close minded some people are!!

katyhelena said...

Definitely too stereotypical. It's not about male or female, it's about the person. Can they do the job? I know men who fit those generalizations, too. It's the person, not the sex.

Anonymous said...

I work in a library and all our top head-honcho positions are filled by women. We serve hundreds of thousands of customers each year and are forward thinking and budget concious. Sure, there are some bad seeds, some of them men and some women.

We had a customer call (an older man) who wanted to complain about all these women running the library and to run it properly we need men in the top positions. He also made some racist comments to the executive assistant he was speaking with.

I wonder what Paul will have to say about blacks and Hispanics in the workplace, or a Native American woman *gasp*

Canadian Girl said...

Wanna bet that Paul here is holding a grudge against one or many women, for one reason or another, who may have wronged him in the past and is now lashing out at all women with this stereotypical piece. He is just insecure because some woman got ther job that he wanted. I am sure it is some irrational reason of his as to why he wrote this in the first place.
Paul knows diddley squat. He will never have a worthy and intelligent and confident successful woman as a girlfriend.

Nicole said...

I tried reading the original article, but the first few sentences just made me to angry. You made some really excellent counter points. Does he really thing that there are men that don't display any of these qualities? It's a shame these stereotypes still exist. Hopefully our generation can turn it around.

Najia said...

I have a male boss and he yells quite a lot! QUITE a lot!
I think Mr Paul needs to have some more experiences and exposure in life :)

foreigndesi said...

Funny, because I've had two bosses, a woman one and a man one. They have both been awesome.... gah for stereotypes.

Bridget said...

This guy is an idiot. My male boss is more of a drama queen than any female boss I've ever worked under in my career. I think women can make better bosses than men in some cases. More than anything, I don't think anyone should be generalizing about gender with relation to bosses anyway. Each situation is different, regardless of gender.

Miss Ramona said...

Clearly, he is a jerk. Then again, Ask Men is not really a stockpile of thoughtful analysis. What really bothers me is when I hear other women perpetuating these sorts of stereotypes - I've heard so many women over the years talk about how they just like guys better because they aren't as catty, conniviing, or dramatic. I always respond that they know the wrong women then.

Psych Babbler said...

Talk about sweeping overgeneralisations and a black and white view of the world! Geez! I have 3 jobs --- in one, I have a woman as my boss, in one there is a male but it is a woman I answer to and the third is a feminist male (he says so himself) and I have a different kind of relationhip with each. And they are all good in their own way.

I can't believe what an obnoxious prick this Paul guy is.

Mike said...

Women don't belong in the any position except for nursing and teaching. Leave the real work for men who can do it all and then some without complaining and getting knocked up and having to call out for all kinds of reasons. Bottom line, women are lazy as hell and men are not generally speaking. Don't like the truth? Tough, that's life and not everything is going to be roses and candy. Oh and no, this comment wasn't meant to be sweet or nice, just truthful.