Monday, June 29, 2009

A Whole Lotta Heartbreak

Last week, it was officially announced that my boss (aka the best boss ever) would be leaving our company. And I have probably been more heartbroken than I should about it.

It's hard to describe why my boss leaving is so heartbreaking. And try as I might, explaining it to my friends and family always leaves me coming up short. My explanations are never on point, or do the situation justice. And I think unfortunately this is something only my co-workers can fully understand.

But I'm going to try and explain to the best of my abilities.

The news came really suddenly. I had no inkling or women's intution that this news was about to hit the airwaves (or in this case I guess hit the fan). And my boss told me first so that I wouldn't hear it from someone else, which was really considerate but also horrifically painful. Now, I'm pretty good at keeping secrets, but when it affects me in some way (aka my job description changing drastically) then it's hard for me to keep it in. And that's what I had to do for 5 days while my boss and the rest of the higher-up's were away on a management retreat.

So I sat here and got more and more depressed because while I had been told my job wasn't in jeopardy, I still felt weary about the whole thing. Not to mention this is the best boss I have had ever. In the existence of bosses, I don't think anyone could do much better than the one I have now. He is fair, kind, hard to make angry, self-sufficient, and treated me with a lot of respect.

So last week was a pity party. And the party was for 1.

Eventually my new boss sat me down and we had a heart-to-heart about she wants me to grow in the company. She also let me know that she has no use for an assistant, so really my new job description will be of the make-it-up-as-we-go variety. (I will still get to do events, but my special projects will all be different).

So this convo lifted my spirits for about a minute and then I went back to depresso mode. All my friends and family tried to make me see the light. "This will be good for you" and "there's a silver lining in this change". I would get to move up in the company, not handle calendars and schedules. I would pretty much get betting a better job by default. And yet this didn't make me feel better.

When the news was officially announced to the rest of the company, everyone came over to give me their condolences like he had died and wasn't just moving on to a better job in the suburbs. Which made me depressed all over again. But at least now I had people to comiserate with. His old assistants (who still work at the company but have been promoted) came over crying. See! That's how great he is!

I think a part of me is just really depressed because he was such a great boss, but I know I'm also sad/depressed because I've never been left behind. I always did the leaving. At my last company, I left them. At internships there was always a time limit. And I don't like being left behind.

A part of me really wishes he had asked me to go with him to his new company, but I know I should be happy about the changes and advancements that I'll be able to make under my new boss. This just wasn't in the plan (aka how I thought this job would pan out for me).

I've always been really great about handling change, but this has been extremely hard for me to stomach.

Tonight is his going away party (that I planned of course!) and it's going to be a lot of fun - people are even flying in for it from other offices around the country. And right now instead of being depressed, I'm going to try and be happy for all the changes and to celebrate having a really superb boss (even if it was just for eight months).

19 comments:

The Novelista Barista said...

i think i would cry if my boss left and i would probably leave as well.

Sara said...

It's really hard to explain your office dynamics to people you don't work with. I was laid off in January and LOVED my company. And, while I've found another job it's just not the same. And, I'm oretty sure it never will be. Your co-workers and especially bosses are such an important part of your overall happiness (crazy as it sounds) that I can understand why you're upset. I hope your new boss sees room for advancement for you.

Anonymous said...

I can only imagine feeling that way about my current boss. And it would take one wild stretch of the imagination. I'd be throwing a different kind of party, if you know what I mean.

You have had a very special thing. What a bummer to say goodbye to that. :(

Salut! chou chou said...

That's sad - I actually see why you would feel that way. However, I think your friends and fam are right, this could be good in a way! Sometimes, we need to step outside of our comfort zone to grow some more! Who knows, this might be a good time for you.

All the best,
- Anya

Katie said...

Great bosses are hard to come by! I would be upset, too. Good luck with the coming changes, though! Hopefully your new boss will turn out to be just as wonderful.

tatum said...

if my boss left me i would die. end of story. good luck to you! hopefully other things you enjoy about your job will stay the same. and feel happy, too, bc like Anonymous said, you had a very special thing that not everyone gets to experience.

luckygirl said...

i would TOTALLY freak out if my boss left. i think it's something about that whole first real boss thing. i would probably leave fairly soon after she did!

Jules said...

You are one of the lucky few... if my boss were to leave, the emotion would be quite different in my office - she is a slight horror...

Anna said...

i just lost my favorite job in the whole entire world to budget cuts. i was a student hourly on our campus & for once i wanted to go to work.

i share your heartbreak.

i hope you feel better, & imagine...one day YOU can be "that boss" that everyone admires : )

Suz said...

I would be crying too! Good bosses are VERY hard to come by!

Jill Pilgrim said...

Boo! Great bosses are very rare, so I can totally feel your pain. Stupid people, with their stupid better jobs. I hope it all works out!

Ashley said...

It is difficult to lose a good boss. Everyone will need time to adjust and some of the habits that you have formed will have to change. Your new boss sounds as if she might be nice and reasonable. It's good that she took the time to sit and talk with you about the change.

Jessie said...

aww, good luck with your new boss!

Lyryn said...

I know how you feel! I work for a company that my BFF’s parent own and run. It used to be a little family business, but now we’re getting huge and things just aren’t the same. It was great working with my BFF everyday… but then she made a choice to leave and set out to do bigger and better things. Don’t get me wrong, I was extremely happy for her! But… there is still days that I wish she was back here so I could see her everyday.

Looks like you had a great relationship with your boss… and that is so awesome! You don’t normally find that and it’s great you did in her. Hopefully she has taught you a lot and you will one day be a great boss to someone just like yourself. It’s funny how God puts people in your life for just a season.

Who knows… this next season might be even better!! :)

E said...

I'm sorry!! I know its hard to be postive but hopefully it will all work out for the best ;)

Wonderful said...

Change is always hard to get used to, but keep in touch with your old boss...you never know, you might work with them again someday. :)

Katie cat said...

Congrats on the new transition and getting the chance to grow. I know you would have rather had things stay the same though. It's scary when a big change takes place in the office.

For about 7 months of slow/bad business, I was able to hold onto my job, but my company eventually let me go and I hated the change and the thought of having to search for a new job in this economy.

Hopefully you can hold onto your new position and stay with the company for a lot longer!

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