The Subject of Getting Drizzunk

My company puts on a lot of events. And with these events usually comes a open bar. And with that open bar comes a lot of overservedness (word I just made up so go with it please).

Most work blogs I read talk about not drinking at company events. Or having the one drink and then switching to soda (or pop as we like to say out here in the Ole Midwest). But I will not say that because it would be hypocritical.

I personally don't think there is anything wrong with drinking in front of your coworkers. At our company events, I will drink more than one glass of wine and sometimes I even get drunk. The key to drinking with your coworkers or in front of your boss is to know yourself.

We all know this chat -the chat that your parents had with you before you left for college (or was that just mine?). The chat about knowing your limits and knowing your body and knowing your drunk. I know that after 4 glasses of wine I'm usually at my limit and that that 5th glass of wine will make me go overboard so if I'm with my bosses or people I want to impress then I'm not going to have the 5th glass. Or even the 4th probably.

And honestly I've been at parties where I have had that 4th or 5th glass and then sent myself home. Case in point, the incentive trip in St. Thomas - we had a huge snafu in the form of a Carribbean storm take place on the island and had to cancel our sail over to St. John for cocktails and dinner and instead had a 3-hour cocktail hour at the bar and then my boss invited me and my guest (who just happened to be WG1) to dinner. The 2 of us could barely finish our meals we were so tipsy so after dinner we sent ourselves home instead of sticking around for a nightcap.

So if you have a company picnic coming up with an open bar (like I do in a few weeks) then just stick to my advice and know yourself. Don't overdo it and if you think you're getting to the point of no return, send yourself home.

It's all about knowing your drunk - thanks for the advice Mom & Dad!

I Think I'm Still Drunk, Again

It's no secret that I get very drunk when I go out with coworkers. Usually, I drink more and stay out later than I do with my friends. To the point where I think they are starting to get mad.

Last Thursday, one of the marketing girls had a few of us over for a small wine and cheese party. Let's just say there was a lot more wine than cheese and yours truly was feeling a little buzzed. After the party, five of us were on the same train home. I brilliantly decided that we should get off the train, go to bar and keep drinking.

Great idea at the time. Not such a great idea looking back on Friday morning. I dragged myself out of bed at 8:15, then took the quickest body shower ever. I covered the circles under my eyes with concealer, then booted and walked out the door.

The subway was rough, but I made it.

Once at work, however, I was not doing so hot. I was falling asleep at my desk. So, I took a short nap in our marketing closet. I tried my hardest to answer emails and be productive, but nodding off and frequent trips to the ladies room did not help my productivity.

At 11 a.m., after a pow-wow with Promo Girl, I decided I had to go home sick. Thankfully, my bosses both had days off and I could sneak out quietly. I spent the rest of my day in bed and over the toilet. I felt guilty all afternoon: for drinking too much, not being in shape to work and for leaving the office early. Once I felt well enough to process a full thought, I decided that work drinking for this girl has got to be toned down. And leaving work early because of a hangover cannot happen again.

Never. Ever. Again.

I Think I'm Still Drunk

I have a bit of a reputation for getting inappropriately drunk with coworkers. It may be the awkwardness of small talk with the higher-ups or that I'm not paying for the booze but either way, I've gotten too drunk one too many times. More often than not, someone else is just a drunk so it's not just me. But Saturday night, it was a different story.

In typical WG1 fashion, I proceeded to drink a little too much in celebration of our biggest event of they year being complete. Our event rocked and I rocked, my female boss told me that she couldn't have done the event without me and that 30 people told her how great of a job I did, so I was in quiet the celebratory mood. I had two rum and diets at dinner with my bosses and coworkers in the marketing department.

Then, the night got interesting.

One of our higher-ups is married with two little munchkins and doesn't get out much. We'll call him Michael Scott because, well, he kind of is like Michael School. When there are group business trips, he takes advantage and goes all out. Limos to a club, bottle service and champagne at the club and craziness all around. After waking up at 5:30AM and working on my feet all day, I said to myself that I would only go out for another drink or two. Well a drink or two turned into several. I was dancing on chairs, pretending I was the bartender with our table's bottle of vodka and singing my little heart out.

The club closed at 2AM, which was already much later than when I usually end my nights in the city. The group that was left which was just Michael Scott and a slew of assistants, we all hopped into the limo and were on our way back to the hotel. Or so I thought.

I thought wrong. We were on our way to an after hours club. I decided to go into little miss event planner mode and sat in the front of the limo with our driver. We drove and drove and drove around the northern California city and couldn't find the club. Why? Because it was hidden. It was like a speakeasy. Being with a group of other assistants made this whole experience less inappropriate but we were still Michael Scott. Once we finally found this after hours place, which in my memory was just like a rave but let's keep in mind that I was entering a blackout, Michael Scott had to fork over all of his cash to get the four guys that were with us into the place. Little miss party planner (me) proceeded to withdraw $120 out of my personal checking account and handed it to him to buy drinks.

At one point, he was holding my shoes while I danced and dancing with myself and other female coworkers to keep sketchy men away from us. Again, I was near blackout so this could all be in my head. At the end of the night, the limo dropped myself on one of my coworkers off at the hotel and everyone else started walking to Denny's. When the limo driver asked me who's room the limo should be charged to, I yelled "charge it to Michael Scott!" It was now 4:30 in the morning.

The next thing I remember is the phone ringing in my hotel room at 8:00AM. I had to be down in the lobby at 9:00AM to get to the airport. Needless to say, Sunday was a long day that included sitting with my head between my legs, alcohol seeping out my pours, vomiting in the airport and all sorts of awkwardness in front of my male boss.

But wait, the story doesn't end there. First thing on Monday morning, Michael Scott calls me into his office. "I think I owe you $120," he said to me and I awkwardly laughed. He then said, "you made me well aware that this was a lot of money for you to be taking out of your account." Uh, awkward.

We then sat in his office for about 15 minutes and had a true college-style recap of the night. He told me that he thought I was going to get arrested. To which I replied with a blank stare and then a "what? When?"

"When you were talking to the cop about where the limo was parked," he said jogging my memory a bit. I remembered talking to a cop and informing him that we were from an important magazine because in the state I was in, that was important. I remember arriving back at the hotel and seeing other coworkers getting in their cars to go to the airport. Bits and pieces of the night began to finally come together but every one of my actions is not accounted for and god only knows what else I said to Michael Scott or anyone else for that matter.

An American Girl in Londontown

I just got back from the wedding in England where I drunkenly embarrassed myself so drastically that I might just ban myself from the United Kingdom altogether. As a side note, congratulations to K & A. The wedding was beautiful! And Vix, here's your big shout-out! Thanks for the lovely big sleep-over and I miss you terribly already. 

It's my day to post. 

Unfortunately, I have major jet lag (and I totally can't call out of work tomorrow). I just got off the plane ride from hell (think puke, broken TV monitors, and dead iPods). 

And to top it all off, WG1 has raided my Ben & Jerry's ice cream stash. And when I say raided I mean she picked out all the good bits and left behind vanilla ice cream. And when I yelled at her (and oh man did I yell) she said she did it because she missed me. Which is really nice, but don't tell her I told you that. 

So, in short, I think I might take the night off and go to bed early.