Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I Think I'm Still Drunk

I have a bit of a reputation for getting inappropriately drunk with coworkers. It may be the awkwardness of small talk with the higher-ups or that I'm not paying for the booze but either way, I've gotten too drunk one too many times. More often than not, someone else is just a drunk so it's not just me. But Saturday night, it was a different story.

In typical WG1 fashion, I proceeded to drink a little too much in celebration of our biggest event of they year being complete. Our event rocked and I rocked, my female boss told me that she couldn't have done the event without me and that 30 people told her how great of a job I did, so I was in quiet the celebratory mood. I had two rum and diets at dinner with my bosses and coworkers in the marketing department.

Then, the night got interesting.

One of our higher-ups is married with two little munchkins and doesn't get out much. We'll call him Michael Scott because, well, he kind of is like Michael School. When there are group business trips, he takes advantage and goes all out. Limos to a club, bottle service and champagne at the club and craziness all around. After waking up at 5:30AM and working on my feet all day, I said to myself that I would only go out for another drink or two. Well a drink or two turned into several. I was dancing on chairs, pretending I was the bartender with our table's bottle of vodka and singing my little heart out.

The club closed at 2AM, which was already much later than when I usually end my nights in the city. The group that was left which was just Michael Scott and a slew of assistants, we all hopped into the limo and were on our way back to the hotel. Or so I thought.

I thought wrong. We were on our way to an after hours club. I decided to go into little miss event planner mode and sat in the front of the limo with our driver. We drove and drove and drove around the northern California city and couldn't find the club. Why? Because it was hidden. It was like a speakeasy. Being with a group of other assistants made this whole experience less inappropriate but we were still Michael Scott. Once we finally found this after hours place, which in my memory was just like a rave but let's keep in mind that I was entering a blackout, Michael Scott had to fork over all of his cash to get the four guys that were with us into the place. Little miss party planner (me) proceeded to withdraw $120 out of my personal checking account and handed it to him to buy drinks.

At one point, he was holding my shoes while I danced and dancing with myself and other female coworkers to keep sketchy men away from us. Again, I was near blackout so this could all be in my head. At the end of the night, the limo dropped myself on one of my coworkers off at the hotel and everyone else started walking to Denny's. When the limo driver asked me who's room the limo should be charged to, I yelled "charge it to Michael Scott!" It was now 4:30 in the morning.

The next thing I remember is the phone ringing in my hotel room at 8:00AM. I had to be down in the lobby at 9:00AM to get to the airport. Needless to say, Sunday was a long day that included sitting with my head between my legs, alcohol seeping out my pours, vomiting in the airport and all sorts of awkwardness in front of my male boss.

But wait, the story doesn't end there. First thing on Monday morning, Michael Scott calls me into his office. "I think I owe you $120," he said to me and I awkwardly laughed. He then said, "you made me well aware that this was a lot of money for you to be taking out of your account." Uh, awkward.

We then sat in his office for about 15 minutes and had a true college-style recap of the night. He told me that he thought I was going to get arrested. To which I replied with a blank stare and then a "what? When?"

"When you were talking to the cop about where the limo was parked," he said jogging my memory a bit. I remembered talking to a cop and informing him that we were from an important magazine because in the state I was in, that was important. I remember arriving back at the hotel and seeing other coworkers getting in their cars to go to the airport. Bits and pieces of the night began to finally come together but every one of my actions is not accounted for and god only knows what else I said to Michael Scott or anyone else for that matter.

25 comments:

Maki said...

Aww, you are soooo cute. It's really a charming post - funny, funny and funny! I would love to meet Michael Scott because he surely sounds like a cool guy!!!

I truly miss those nights where I go out until 3:30am only have to get myself up at 7am. I enjoy this post very much! Thank you~~:D

Caz said...

Well I guess I know what your answers were to my Drinking at Work post last week: http://cherryblossomsandvodka.blogspot.com/2008/10/wine-at-work.html

Hope a caring co-worker fills you in on your antics so you aren't kept wondering...

I've also totally got too drunk at a work-associated function before. Most embarassing was I had purple teeth from all the red wine!

joeygirl said...

just like me, that cop must've had a good laugh.

A Country Wife said...

I feel your pain... free drinks + clubs = carnage. But hey it makes you appreciate being alive when the hangover goes.
CW

Jean said...

Whoops. That happened to me once too but I tried to make a move on "Michael Scott" in front of everyone. Very bad. But I made some new friends at work- I was their new hero! I was the first one to make our boss blush and run away like a scared little school boy. What came of it? He works somewhere else and when we do see each other in a business setting, I always have the upper hand.

Mishi said...

OMG. That's an awesome story. Good thing Michael Scott is so cool. I try to behave myself at work functions - but less than sober behavior has been known to happen. Usually, its me and the other "staff" workers, partying it up at the "kids" table.

No one said having a real job meant you learned how to act like a grown up.
:P

Franciose Mordecai said...

A hung over flight is THE WORST! So is drunkenly "commingling" with bosses... Haha, been there, done that! I wish I had people like that at work to go out with!

Anonymous said...

very funny!
college style recap, very true. haha
and at least he paid you the money back!

LyndsAU said...

that was hilarious to read! too funny! I was cracking up!

lisa said...

Omg that's mortifying yet at the same time really hilarious. I think everyone loses control at one or two company functions, especially celebratory ones with open bars!

Life in a Cube said...

Don't worry about it. We all have those very shameful stories but how boring would your life be without them.

Far said...

yikes flying hung over must have been brutal... lol

Lose That Girl said...

So funny! Lucky escape too -- most of us don't have bosses so cool as your Michael Scott!

hoppster said...

so great!

my last office party i was tasked with preventing my boss from drunk driving home. everyone thought it would be a good idea if i drove him home. i just tried to barricade the doors instead. and distract him with shiny objects.

but i don't remember any of this, because i was blacked out.

oops.

had a similar style re-cap with him on monday.

given any opportunity he likes to announce to everyone 'this girl can drink!'

i take my role as office alchey seriously.

TEFIMELON said...

I have a bit of a reputation for getting inappropriately drunk with coworkers.


CUÁNTO ME REÍ POR DIOS, MUY HUMANO JJAJA


BESOS

Lilly Holiday said...

LOL!!! Don't worry all my friends call me the cop whisperer. When I'm drunk, I feel the need to have a conversation with everyone in a uniform that I seem to come across.

Tiffany Lynn said...

Hilarious post! I practically laughed out loud at my desk :)

Spell Cosmetics said...

Thought it was great!! Been There!!! lol

MO said...

This is classic ME...too bad we don't live closer, we'd definitely hit it off...LOL Great stuff!

Anonymous said...

funny, you didn't mention this when i asked you how the weekend went! xoxoxo

Jade said...

Amazzzziing!!! Haha...I've always tried to avoid drinking with co-workers because with my behavior I would likely lose my job. At least you still have it...ha!

<33 J. said...

HAHAHAHA that's hilarious!!!!

If it makes you feel any better, after coming in for a slew of Sunday Brunches totally hungover, my manager now refers to me as "Boozer".

Whatever. At least we know how to have a good time ;)

Anonymous said...

OMG, OMG. - MC

E said...

Oh my!!! Great post! I to have been guilty of drinking to much at office get togethers...... I agree I think it's because we know it's free and let's face it us working girls are broke and can use a free drink every now and then!! :)

DomestiGals said...

Do you know that at Fox before office parties (specifically office holiday gatherings), apparently they send out long, very corporate letters saying what is and what is not appropriate behavior with colleagues?

I swear they talk about not hooking up in the bathroom with colleagues, but in a more sophisticated manner than what I just wrote!

DomestiGal Sue