Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Busy and Out of Touch

As a Working Girl, I often find it difficult to keep up with and stay in touch with my friends.

When I was younger, I moved a few times. I'm not talking the next town over, I'm talking halfway across the country. Twice. Since then, I've never been all that great in keeping touch. I've developed a pattern, after losing touch with many friends, of staying close with the people who are close by.

But lately, even with my friends who live in Manhattan, I feel like I'm losing touch. Sometimes I have no idea what's going on in their lives. We are all on different schedules and doing different things on the weekends. My local college friends and I are finally getting together for dinner this week.

With my friends who are further away, I always have good intentions. To-do lists and post-its crowd my dresser with notes: "call so-and-so" or "send friend a birthday card." I even go so far as to purchasing the card but it never gets mailed. You should see the box of cards I have.

Email doesn't make it any easier. After sitting at a computer all day at work, and sometimes all evening to work on this lovely little blog you're reading, the last thing I want to do is type up an email. I've tried taking time if I'm eating lunch at my desk for a few personal emails but I usually get distracted by an email popping up on my screen or a coworker popping up at my desk.

Sometimes I'm even this way with my family. I go far too long between phone calls to my granny and I could certainly call my mom and dad more often to check in.

I should mention that I'm not a phone person. Not at all.

Staying in touch is something at which I'd like to get better. Much better. How do you Working Girls keep in touch with friends and family? My first change: starting this weekend, I'm going to set aside some time on the weekends to make my (few) phone calls and send my emails. Instead of spending my Saturday morning perusing Facebook, I'll actually get in contact with people.


Mrs. D said...

Keeping in touch is so hard - I'm glad I'm not the only one who has trouble doing it. After a 12-hour day at work, it's hard to find the energy to call/email people. :-(

Even though you hate the phone, I think it's the best way to keep in touch. It's way more personal than Facebook or even email. What I do sometimes when I hit that point where I haven't talked to anyone in months is set aside a day where I call about 10 people. Usually at least half aren't around, so then I get fun follow-up calls for the next couple of weeks.

arizona bankruptcy lawyer said...

It is hard these days with working and keeping up a home. Life does not have enough hours in a day.

Girl About Business said...

Yes- that's definitely a start. Sending snail mail is always nice, especially if it's unexpected.

Setting aside a little time on the weekends to phone friends & fam is a great idea. That's what I did to get back in contact with my grandmother.

Emailing is very convenient... AIM if you don't have the time.

I admit though, it is hard work trying to keep up with everything and everyone, and I've been in the same predicament... moving around a lot, never really getting close to anyone but those that I KNOW are going to be around for the long haul.

Start small... and let some of those long lost friends/family contact you :-)

kokostiletto said...

this is great post... i find this problem too.... i'm not a phone person either and my secret to staying in touch is my blackberry! with my blackberry, i can text and email friends while on the subway, waiting in line, or waiting for somebody. this has seriously changed my social life as sad as it may sound:)

SMM said...

I travel an hour each way to work. I use that tiem to call friends/ family and catch up with them :)

KR said...

I keep an e-mail thread with my group of friends. We abuse the "Reply All" button, but it helps us all stay in touch!

Anonymous said...

When my closest girls and I started working, we started a password protected secret blog, where we post the life updates (and gossip, and recent shopping trips) as they happen. As often as I post in my public blog, I'll post in this personal one, and the others do the same. It's been awesome, because sometimes we don't see each other for a month, but we're always relatively up to date. It's also kindof fun to go back to the earlier posts to see how things have changed!

With my other friends who aren't as close, I try to call them every now and then, when I'm on a bus commuting, or if I'm waiting in a line. They're not always free, but it's my time to catch up with people who are important.

I've been workign for nearly a year, and I've never felt out of touch!

High-heel gal said...

I've moved quite a few times in the past few years, and I must say, I barely talk to any of my friends from college anymore. We all went our separate ways and now I only know what they're up to via their facebook status.

I guess we tend to keep in touch with those friends who matter the most to us and as we get older, our interests and lifestyles change along with our friends.

The friends I do keep in touch with though, I visit often and always call on the phone - it's more personal than email and texting.

jenniloo said...

I too have a giant box of cards that I never sent out! I'm notorious for this. I even go so far as to write a msg on the card and seal it.. it's the mailing part that gets me!

For my best friends 24th birthday.. she received the card I bought and wrote on for her 20th birthday :)

Ms. Salti said...

I'm not very good at keeping in touch with people either. I feel horribly for it, but life is so busy sometimes! Good luck!

luckygirl said...

wow you have much better work ethic than i do. i totally email friends and family throughout the day and chat on gchat with my man...i hear ya on not wanting to do it at home so i usually just get in a bit early and leave a little late to have time to do my online banking, facebooking, emailing and still have time to get everything done!

Sandy said...

I am not sure I qualify to comment here. I am not working (still studying) and the last time I checked, I certainly am not a girl. But still, I feel like I have something to say (I always do.)

I have been alive for 21 years now, and have moved 6 times (yes, halfway across the country). I have also developed the habit of not keeping in touch. All it takes is an email or a phone call, but I just don't do it.

I am glad you have decided to work on this. Maybe it will inspire me to do the same. All the best!

The Village Idiot.

Magic City College Girl said...

it can be hard to stay in touch. i moved around alot too when i was younger. i have lost old friends. since high school i havent talked to many friends over the years but kept some close ones. late last year i got in touch with more friends from high school and we are all on eachothers facebook which helps us keep in touch much easier.

i work the late shift at my job so i can keep in touch during the day with friends and at my job i can use the work computer for personal stuff like email too if i need to. its easy for me to keep in touch but its hard for my to hang out with them because i only have 1 day off a week. but i used to mostly work during the day so i know what you are going through. all i can say is as soon as you get home make those calls and do those emails. or continue to try to do them at work. maybe you can make a little time on the weekends set aside just for that.

Twenty-Something said...

Good to hear I'm not the only one! I am horrid at that as well, its almost shameful! I too blame it on moving too much as a child! Its embarrassing to say my oldest friends are from freshman year of high school!

I always envy those who are so good at keeping in touch! We just have to put in extra effort!

Kacie said...

This post is totally my life. I hate talking on the phone, yet I can waste multiple hours a week between Facebook/Twitter. Definitely need to improve my keeping-in-touch skills. I've found your approach to be the best way so far - I write down family/friend birthdays & events on my personal and office calendars so I have no excuse not to send at least a quick email on special days. And then I force myself to take at least 10 minutes each day to call a friend or a family member. I just wish it didn't feel like one more chore - I need tips for how to like talking on the phone more! :-) I've been spoiled to the immediacy/convenience of emails and texts.

Bucket Trucks for Sale said...

Facebook!!! That's how I keep in touch with my family members who all live 2,000 miles away! I'm not a phone person either and do not like sitting on the computer at home as I'm on it all day at work. Plus, with two children under three years old...I really don't have much time. So I tend to keep FB open as often as possible and occasionally I will get an IM from someone and then we take the time to catch up.

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