I joke almost every other week that I'm going through one. After reading this article from Canada's Eye Weekly, it seems that I, along with all of my friends and our entire generation, am going through a quarterlife crisis.
The article points out that when our parents were our age they were married, buying homes and having children. They did this because it was what they were supposed to do. They then brought up our generation to believe that we can be anything we want to be, that we can have careers that are lucrative, stimulating and keep us happy in and outside of the office.
Now, we've grown up and the things we were told aren't exactly happening the way we want them to. Only, we don't really know how we want them to happen. Our generation was brought up to be anything we wanted to be; it's left us with too many options which makes it harder for us to make life decisions and ergo the quarterlife crisis.
Have I lost you yet?
I highly recommend heading over to Eye Weekly and getting some insight into the quarterlife for some coping mechanisms and some anecdotes from other twenty/thirty-somethings going through it. There's also a quiz (I love quizzes) which says I'm not having a quarterlife crisis. But that could all change in a week or two.
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26 comments:
I think this is soo true. We always had things planned for us by our parents so when there is no set schedule we start to feel "lost" good post!! xxoo
A lot of my friends are going through this. I took the quiz, and apparently I'm alright for now!
I've had my quarter life crisis and when it happened to me, I thought I was the only one in the world who'd ever had it!
That's the problem with encouraging people to be everything... they never focus on becoming SOMETHING.
I think this is so true! Part of it might be that so many twenty-somethings are in different stages of life for the first time (unlike in high school and college with relatively level playing fields). Now, I have single friends, friends in relationships, married friends, friends with kids, friends in grad school, friends switching careers, etc... Trying to navigate the workplace and life from the bottom up is challenging, and with everyone in different places, it is hard to know where one fits in.
Amen! I couldn't have said it better myself. I was raised by two parents who openly admitted that they didn't enjoy the jobs they were in, but had kept them in order to provide for my sister and I. Thus, they were always encouraging me to "be anything I wanted to be," and my childhood self, and even somewhat me today, still wants to be EVERYTHING, that I can't choose to be SOMETHING! Very frustrating.
Thanks for posting the link, I'm definitely going to check out the article!
My husband I were just talking about this. Thanks for sharing!
This is so very true. We..with our limitless options and choices are literally swimming in a sea of confusion. I mean, most 20 somethings I know, even with solid careers or changing to a career they think they want are not satisfied - noone knows what they want.
We can't have everything - but I really hope that by 30 we are solidly on the ground, not hovering in confusion!
There is a fabulous book called "20 Something, 20 Everything" that deals with this very subject. I think it's extremely common to feal lost and slightly defeated during this age....I know I do.
good article... now that I've been reading more about this, it seems that 98% of the world's 20 somethings are not happy with their lives, including myself. The other day I was watching CNN and they said that we are also like the "unemployed generation"... tons of debts and no jobs because of the financial crisis.
My quarter life crisis drove me to come to South America over a year ago! I thought I'd figure things out down here, but nope, the confusion seems to follow you where ever you go. But it's nice to know I'm not the only one. Good post, can't wait to read the article.
That article really hit home! Haha I have craigslist job listings open right now! And yet, can't even pick a category. And I totally do the facebook life-comparison thing. I should just remove those people from my friends. Not like we'll ever hang out.
Thanks for this. I'm forwarding it on!
I'm experiencing the quarter life crisis too...I love taking quizzes and this one's too good, mine were mostly "b". The article is so so true. Thanks for sharing.
Great article and I relate. I'm 30 now, and my crisis definitely started in my mid-twenties. I'm slowly but surely figuring things out on the career front (by going back to school, lol!), but the relationship part is still a big stress in my life. Marriage and kiddos are on my mind a lot, and I think this is only natural for women as we get older since we have limited time to procreate. I never thought I'd be one of those women who starts to feel the pressures of my "biological clock", but I guess it happens to the best of us.
What a week for you to post this! I've definitely been going through my own crisis. But I disagree with the aimless element of being this age.
I do know what I want to do, and it does not involve working for a company. That's a hard thing to get out of when you've been doing it since you graduated college. So I think a lot of people our age may know what they want but not know how to get it or are afraid to let go of money and security, even though it doesn't make them happy. I think sometimes we need to knock our lives off their own course, if it's making you unhappy, in a healthy way so that you can get to where we want to be. It does involve sacrifice and getting over your fears, though.
haha ~ I'm going through a divorce and living in Belize now (8 months so far) ~ A far cry from my life in Portland, OR pushing papers! I think this must qualify.
It's a very long, but interesting article! Thanks for sharing the link!
Oh my gosh...totally agree. My friends and I are all going through this. We aren't where we thought we would be at our age. And all of our parents were married with children at our age too. Don't get me wrong, we love being able to pick up and do what we want when we want. But we still feel a little out of wack and confused as to where we should be.
Thank you for the link, I'm definitely checking it out.
I am so there right now and it's a constant state of flux. Sometimes I think I am on a path that will take me where I *think* I want to go... the next thing I know I'm having a full out crisis because I have a freaking college degree and I'm working retail, therefore I'm obviously never going to amount to ANYTHING.
Yeah, so like I said, I am SO there right now.
Ok...from a mom - I was not married at 24 or 25. I was living in the city, trying to figure out my life and 30 some years later with three mostly grown children and a good life....still trying and grateful for every goofy moment. Honestly~stop trying to do anything and just get up every day and say thank you. Enjoy your youth, your opportunities, your beauty. It will all be ok. Honestly, you are all blessed beyond belief so believe.
Hi... this is such a coincidence... i was just going through a friend's blog today and he also wrote something on the "quarterlife crisis" hereIt's really interesting, do check out. Maybe u can relate to it... atleast i did! :)
I totally agree. Too many choices makes it so hard! Sometimes I seriously wish I wasn't so ambitious and could have been satisfied just being a paralegal rather than going to law school--- but I can't !
You have a point.
I think alot of us grew up with this idea that we have time to think about what we want to do and what plans we need to make in life. There was never any rush to just MAKE A DECISION! Personally, i got to sidetrack that fact and early on decided my plan A, B,& C for life. I guess while every around me seems unsure I'm glad I can have a small comfort knowing that I have a plan for the future. Great Post!
Thanks for posting the link--this article really summed up the way I feel a lot of the time. People are kind of overwhelmed by options and possibilities and we're made to feel that if we don't take advantage of everythingggggggg we possibly could, we're slack or lazy. But no one is made to do everything and it's easy to feel overwhelmed. Right now my focus is on my job and my fiance...planning our wedding and stuff...next up will be buying a home. Kids are a couple years away at least. And I know that when I do have kids I'm going to have to downgrade huge time at work, because there's no way I could balance my work commitments with a family if something doesn't give. But again, I'll probably feel unfulfilled and try to half-ass everything instead of cutting back and focusing more on one area. Ughhh...I did the quiz and am not having a QLC YET but I'm supposed to develop a 5-year plan to help me out...and that's stressing me out :)
WOW! This really opened my eyes! I've been having a QLC since before the term became mainstream--that's how old I am!
I knew the who (me), what (total meltdown on who I am what i should be.....), where (my brain) and whens (every day since I hit about 22).
But I never really stopped to analyze exactly whyAnd this made total sense! Not only were my parents married early in life, but all my sibling were married with plently of babies by my age. With successful careers.
And so many of my friends have followed down that same path that I feel I must be wrong.
But both of my parents (before they met each other), my brother and one of my sisters have all been divorced. Some more than once.
So the other part of me (on the good days) commends myself for taking time to find ME!
Great post!
Awesome post...so true too:)
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