Monday, May 11, 2009

Why So Anxious?

Come Sunday, like clockwork, my stomach begins to turn into knots. I start to worry about my work week - what could I have done better last week, what did I leave to do this week that I should have done last week, what can I do to impress my boss this week. 

I've always been a pretty anxious person. Before interviews, I would turn into a ball of nerves. Before presentations at school, my stomach would become a butterfly exhibit. And before my first day at a new job, omigod it's like I can't breathe. 

And then the day is over and I feel better and life goes on. Eventually I become accustomed to the people, my workspace, my environment, my job, my duties and I calm down. 

Recently though I feel like it's been getting worse. Every Friday, I leave work relieved and happy with the work I've done for the week. I think I worked so hard, I deserve this weekend and these days off. And then all of a sudden it's Sunday and I become a pile of nerves. 

I've only been at my new job now for 6 months...which in some ways seems impossible because I only feel like I've been here two months. But on the other hand, I feel like I've been here forever. Someone at work the other day asked me if it was my year anniversary yet. I replied with a snort. Very ladylike. 

I know my nerves are just nerves. But after two people got let go last week, my nerves went into overdrive. Will they know I looked at Perez Hilton for an hour last week or that I procrastinated and didn't do a project assigned to me until the day before it was due? 

Sometimes on Sundays, I have trouble sleeping. I constantly get that "you look tired" greeting from my co-workers on Mondays (thanks guys! what a compliment!). I know that my worries are just that - worries. I don't think my job is in jeopardy. I know I'm needed. And my boss is always quick to tell me what a great job I have done on projects. 

Sometimes I attribute this worry and anxiousness to the fact that I still don't know the company that well. That even after six months, I'm still learning what our company does. And maybe it makes me anxious that my presentations aren't always perfect the first go around. 

Whatever it is, I hope it goes away soon. 

15 comments:

Bayjb said...

Oh dear it'll be okay! I get nerves on Sunday nights too and actually pray to help me get through the upcoming week. I'm a naturally nervous person as well and things will fall into place. Just don't start second guessing things you do. Do your best and that's all anyone can ask :)

Also, I'm out on Memorial Day weekend but are you free this weekend? We should meet up!

Miss Type-A said...

my best friend calls that the "sunday scaries." I get it before a long week of law school. I think it's pretty normal!

Danielle said...

I'm always overly anxious too. I'm becoming a little more calm before interviews... but barely. I can't even imagine what it'll be like when I find and start a new job. I'll probably drink an entire bottle of Pepto the first day!

Angela Darling said...

That is me to a T, too. First day at a new job, interviews, presentations, I get so nervous that I'm probably on the brink of a panic attack. Then as soon as it's over I'm back to my old self. Why on this earth do we do that to ourselves?

Moi said...

i have worked at my company for four years. In those four years I have worn my hair up in a ponytail twice. The first time 4 people made a comment that "I looked tired"...a waited a few years and did it again once I forgot..same thing. what a compliment! Now I have a phobia about how drained I look wearing a ponytail!
Like I needed more anxiety - I am with you on Sundays..I get the same way.

Amy said...

I posted about almost the same thing last month: http://rainysaturday.blogspot.com/2009/04/taking-back-sunday.html
I always feel sick with dread on Sundays. I hate it :(

Smittenly Written said...

I have the very same problem...and I thought that it would stop once you finish school. No such luck...I have been working almost 15 years...and I still get the a case of the sunday's. Thanks for your post...I was seriously wondering if it was only me.

Nervous, Conscientious Working Girls Unite!!

LindzML said...

Oh man, that really sucks. I used to get that feeling before a really rough week of school, but it'll go away. I'm sure it's just the fear of losing your job, but that will go away when you realize you're secure in your position!

Dollface said...

Im sorry I do this as well.. I try to take sleeping aids on Sundays so I dont feel so nervous.... xxoxo

Hello Vodka, It's me...Kassy. Shaken not stirred. said...

i have the exact same problem and so does my BF. Every Sunday night work anxiety hits and it hits hard. !!!!

meg1620 said...

wow, you sound just like me. I hate Sundays for this exact reason. I even hated Sundays before a school week - I always had to run the week through my mind to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything.

Gah, anxiety sucks!

The Watcher said...

Ive got Tuesday woes as Tuesdays are my day off. Yesterday morning I woke up and went to work to do the job Ive been doing the last Five years to be told their changing my position I have to go do another job entirely now and as Ive been with the comapny for so long Im expected to know it all already.. Que panic attack! I may or may not know what to do but such a change at such a short notice = OMG! I feel for you. Deep breaths and lets say together.. I can do it I can do it. lol :-)

Alison Joy said...

I thought it was just me! I am always super depressed on sundays and very anxious. I have been out sick more with my new job than I have in my whole life. I think thats a sign that I need a new job.

I'm sure it will go away once you are used to your new job! Just know that you are not alone!

Kerri Rae said...

I've been at my job for 3 years and still get that sick knot feeling in my stomach. I SOOO hear ya!

Yvonne said...

I have been working at my corporation for 15 years and I am always stressed. Every time I get thrown a new assignment - it ruins my weekend. In fact it is Saturdya night and I am already worried about a new assignment that my manager is going to hit me with. I have been anxious and stressed my entire career. I guess it is part of my makeup. Sometimes I am not sure if I can make it. Glad I found this site.