Saturday, May 22, 2010

Reunion Jitters

Next month is my high school's 10 year reunion, and for some reason it's really starting to freak me out. Blech, I feel old! An ironic post too given the last one is all about graduation, very nostalgic.

In high school, I was a pretty cool girl (at least in my head). I had a lot of friends and I like to think the popular kids found me tolerable. I was in band (not pep band, that's a totally different world) as a third chair clarinet, and one year my name actually managed to find itself listed as a runner-up for Homecoming queen. I ran track and cross country, I was no star, just average, and I was on the Yearbook staff as Sports Editor. Man, I hate sports, who knows how I ever got that role. And like every other girl, I lived for the dances. My baby sister's prom is actually tonight, aw so cute.

Anyway, so what am I afraid of? Who am I afraid of seeing? I don't know, I just think it will all be very awkward, that's all. Awkward because I haven't kept in touch with anyone (except for my best friend, we're going together btw, thank goodness for her). Awkward because I feel like the small town I grew up in isn't "home" anymore since I haven't been back in years and since my family moved away after I left for college. Awkward because I think most of my classmates stayed put, and according to Facebook it looks like many actually married each other. Can we say insta-clique?

And speaking of Facebook, a lot of us have reconnected over the years. Yet, we don't do anything beyond friending each other. So technically, I don't think Facebook counts when it comes to "staying in touch" ... hm, unless you count Facebook stalking? So I don't keep in touch with anyone, yet thanks to Facebook I still know how many kids people have, where they went to college, what they had for breakfast, how they feel about the weather, oh and I've even seen all the pics from their last vacation and probably left a cute comment in there somewhere, etc. All that personal stuff! AHH! Yet when we see each other next month, I'm betting it'll still feel like 10 years are between us. So awkward! See why I'm freaking out?

OR, what if I get there and me and an old classmate start talking and everything. And what if what I remember about her isn't what she remembers about me? Like, I remember something good (i.e. that we were friends) and she remembers something bad (i.e. that one time I made her mad and she ended up hating me forever and I never knew about it)? Ugh, the horrors.

And what exactly am I supposed to wear to the reunion? On TV, it's always the picture of, "Oh, I have to look super sexy and have really white teeth and nicely-toned arms so that guy I had a crush for three whole years will regret he never hooked up with me." I guess the good news is that I don't have any kids, so I don't have any baby fat to worry about losing in four weeks ...

Also causing me jitters is the inevitable, "So what have you been up to these past 10 years?" question. I've been thinking a lot about this. So, what have I done? Did I accomplish all I've wanted to do? Did I land in the career I've always wanted? Do I have any regrets? Am I a better person? Have I changed the world yet??

If you've been to your high school reunion or have one coming up as well, I'd love your empathy and advice. Everyone else, please, just tell me it will all be OK!


Living and Loving in L.A. said...

I TOTALLY know what you're talking about!!! My ten year is this month too!
Facebook is an awkward thing all around. Many of my classmates married each other too...and I left after high school and moved to L.A. so I'm "technically" none the wiser; except for our dear online resource we all know and love.
Not sure if I'll be attending.
Word is, attendance was down 80% at last year's reunion; apparently the only ones who went were those NOT on Facebook.
So we'll see!
Good luck and let us know if you go!!!

citygal said...

My 10-year came and went - and I didn't go. Being from a small town, some of my HS friends were still living there, some had babies and most were married. Now that I live in a city, my life is drastically different, and I know all I care to know about those "friends" via Facebook. It might be better to save your money and go to your 20th instead.

Neurotic Workaholic said...

I didn't go to my reunion, but like you, the only person from high school that I still hang out with is my best friend. I don't even keep up with my former classmates on Facebook, but then again I'm anti-Facebook.
But still, though, I'm sure your reunion will be interesting. At the very least it'll give you something fun to write about. :)

Luna said...

i know how you feel but dont worry too much. i went to my reunion and even though i was nervous i had a great time and was glad i went. many of my school friends got married and had kids. it was weird b/c i have so many other things on my mind besides that and also b/c the last time i saw some of them we were just simply high school students and now most of them have families. the graduating class from the year before mine had a good amount of people going but many claim that it was crap and a waste of money. a friend of mine went to that and said the same. a small group of my classmates put my reunion together and i'm glad that mine came out ok. i have to say that many schools arent really even doing any more reunions after the 10th. i'm pretty sure my class wont do a 20th but thats ok. i'm still glad i went to my 10th.

Anonymous said...

My 10-year reunion is just two years off and, despite having a good experience, I am already wrestling with the anxieties you mention.

I think the appeal of reunions has worn off now that Facebook has made it possible for you to know the intimate details of everyone you knew (and even "kinda" knew) in high school. People used to go to catch up and reminisce--what is the new impetus?

Good luck going back in time! We all look forward to reading about what comes of it.

tris1978ton said...

Don't be jittery. I'm sure whatever people remember about you are all good things. I was also so scared about going back to a college get-together after a few years of loosing touch. At first, I didn't talk to anyone but the 2 girls I went with. But people constantly came up to us to strike conversation, genuinely too. I'm sure you will get even more positive response from your old classmates. Besides, those small town girls and guys would love to hear your big city experiences. Good luck!

Chelle said...

We didn't go to my hubby's, but went to mine (for the same school) the next year. It was pretty awkward...apparently I wrote notes to a girl all throughout high school & we were good friends & I kind of forgot about that. I always thought I had such a good memory!!! My close friends didn't end up making it & I'm pretty sure a girl hit on my hubby. It was funny to see all the guys I thought were so hot in high school looking haggard from too much partying, especially because they were still up to it. Someone puked in the bathroom before 8PM!!! It was awkward, but still fun & because everyone was plastered I could act silly & not worry that I stood out. I did have dreams that I was back in high school for about a week after. Overall a weird/fun/surreal night. I think I'd recommend it.

Shayna said...

I have a firm policy against reunions and otherwise nostalgia based gatherings/events --- I'm yet to see anyone find closure/happiness/etc. from looking backwards - my life philosophy is to live life forward - as in, look to the future, let go of the past --- Good luck!

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