Eat Your Way to a New Job

by PR Working Girl

I'm a fan of chatting with someone and asking questions to learn more about a subject, versus looking it up on Google. So when in the job market, one of the first things I like to do is go through my network and reach out to someone who works at a company I admire or in a similar industry as mine, or in a role that I could see myself doing someday.

While you could send that person an email with several job-related questions, or you could try scheduling a phone call, I would suggest asking that person to join you for lunch (granted you live in close enough proximity).

It's a bit of a bold move compared to an email or phone call, but I think it also shows more confidence and assertiveness.

There's just something about lunches that puts people at ease. It's a great setting for conversation. It's casual. And who doesn't enjoy eating?

The problem with just sending an email is that it can go unanswered, and then what? Do you follow-up with another email? And what if that one goes unanswered, too? Awkward. Dead end.

In addition, a phone call is too easily rescheduled or forgotten, or you can get put on hold, or you might get a hurried, "Can I call you back? I'm in the middle of something," and then you feel guilty for bothering them.

But lunch, well, everyone has to take time out to eat lunch. And, as you busy ladies know, working people always welcome the opportunity to get out of the office for lunch!

When a date is set, come prepared with questions and a notepad and pen. Turn your cell phone off. All the way off. Plan ahead to pick up the tab at the end of the lunch, insist on it, which will imply that you are both professional and appreciative. Ask for their business card. Send a thank you note.

Also, remember this is purely an informational session, not a time to be presumptuous and ask, "Do you know of any job openings?" or "If you hear of anything, can you please keep me in mind?" To me, these questions are incredibly annoying. The last thing you want to do is put off your "guest" by assuming that they like you enough to commit to recommending you for a job at their company right then and there.

There have been a number of great networking and job hunting tips on Working Girl, hopefully this adds another to your strategy. Good luck!

Corner Office Dreamin'

by PR Working Girl

I would love a corner office in a gorgeous high rise building. My corner office neighbors would be stalwart, admirable, yet friendly people who I can't believe I get to call my peers. I'd have a shiny wood desk with silver-framed pictures of my family and all the exotic vacations we've been to over the years. I'd have an unlimited supply of letter-pressed business cards that boldly stated my title: Chief Executive Officer.

A Working Girl can dream, right?

Well, we are still young and we can certainly prepare ourselves to make this kind of dream a reality. But how? What sort of characteristics should we be working on to be considered CEO material, say, about 20 years from now? It's never too early to start thinking about this!

According to Adam Bryant, author of The New York Times "Corner Office" column, there are five main qualities that current CEOs agree make a good employee (which I'm sure we think we already are) really stand out as someone who's got the potential to GO PLACES. Below, I've outlined them briefly adding a few of my own thoughts.

Passionate curiosity - Well, I always knew "passion" and "curiosity" were good qualities to list on your resume, but put them together and bam! They have a whole new meaning. I like how Bryant compares those with passionate curiosity to a 5 year old, someone who is truly interested in how the world around them works. That's how we should be about our industry, our clients, our roles, the strategy, the processes, our competitors.

Battle-hardened confidence - Here is another combo description, it's not just confidence anymore, but it has to be battle-hardened. Makes me feel like I should dress up as a Braveheart warrior or something. Good old fashioned confidence just isn't enough anymore, it's not the kind of confidence that will carry you through failure and adversity, which are two things hiring managers love to quiz you on during interviews. Personally, I hate thinking about my failures, let alone talking about them. Talk about a confidence bust. Yeah, I need to work on this one.

Team smarts - This has got to be one of the hardest traits to come by. There are so many smart people out there who are hard workers, but terrible team members. And honestly, I think we all fall in the terrible category every now and then, no? And we blame it on somebody else on the team. Bryant quotes Susan Lyne, CEO of the Gilt Groupe who I think says it perfectly: "The people who truly succeed in business are the ones who actually have figured out how to mobilize people who are not their direct reports."

A simple mind-set - So often we complicate things because we think it will make ourselves appear smarter, when in reality we are frustrating those around us and wasting precious time. I think it's funny how older generations often give younger ones a bad rap for texting and using Twitter, but I think it's kind of a good thing. Consider this amazing op-ed article, also found in The New York Times, by an English professor. He proposes shorter, simpler (not to be mistaken with "easier") writing assignments instead of always assigning the standard 10+-page term papers; think photo captions and eBay descriptions. Interesting, huh? He says, "Rewarding concision [and may I add, simplicity] first will encourage students to be economical and innovative with language."

Fearlessness - Not me. Ha. I can't kill a spider. I hate sports because I'm afraid of getting hurt (a black eye from playing softball during junior high P.E. class is a completely valid reason, right?). In this case, fearlessness is more about smart and calculated risk-taking in the workplace, so how would you rate yourself in this area? Bryant says entrepreneurs are a good example of embodying a type of fearlessness. Well, I do consider myself entrepreneurial since I currently work from home running my own PR business. OK, I feel a little better now.

So, do you think you've got CEO potential?

I Have the Perfect Excuse ....

.... for being so tardy and MIA from Working Girl.

Um, I'm about to pop out a baby!

I know you've all been waiting and dying to hear all the preggo updates from me since I first announced my pregnancy on Working Girl. Right? Actually, you should be glad I didn't. Pregnancy is no fun. Dislike. Anyway, my little baby is due one week from today, so I'm betting I won't be coherent enough to blog for the next few months. This isn't good-bye, just the beginning of my Working Girl "maternity leave." I'll miss you, and I'll be back.

Anyways, how's work been, you ask? Can't complain. I'll admit it's been amazing to work from home and to fit in work around napping and constant nomming on chocolate chip cookies, brownies and McDonald's hamburgers ...

But probably the best thing to happen work-wise is hiring my first intern. Yes, my little at-home PR business is actually thriving (one year in business this March, wow), and it was kind of a shock when I first realized I would need help to manage my clients during maternity leave.

(And I say maternity leave lightly, it's not like an official time off or anything since this is my business. But for those wondering, I'm giving myself 12 weeks "off." Running your own gig is full of so many unknowns and surprises.)

Anyway, I was really worried about what to do. Do I recommend the services of another PR provider? But then what if they don't take me back when I'm ready to work again? Or should I tell my clients "Sorry" that I'll be unavailable for three months, so ... hope you don't have any PR plans you want executed during that time. That'd be lame. Bottom line, whatever I did, I couldn't risk losing any clients.

Luckily, there was a girl who had approached me several times while I was still working in the corporate world to chat PR. It was her major in college, and she wanted to learn more of what PR was like in the "real world." I was always happy to share my experiences with her. Well, she just graduated in December, right around the time I realized I would need help with my business. I approached her about the opportunity, and she eagerly accepted.

We've been working together since mid-January with me teaching her about the work I'm doing, the clients, etc. and although she tells me all the time about how much she is learning, I have to admit I am learning so much from her.

She has reminded me why I work.

First of all, she is so full of enthusiasm. So eager to learn. She's like a sponge, soaking in every bit of information I give her. She's excited about every little thing. She's positive about our plans. She can't wait to get her hands dirty. She can't wait to work.

Remember when you were like that? Remember when you were fresh out of college and the world never looked brighter? When blossoming into a real-life Working Girl was the epitome of adulthood, independence, success and happiness?

It's so easy to get into a rut now that most of us are a few or more years in and to think of work as merely, "It pays the bills." Remember, you love to work! Back in the day, you couldn't WAIT to WORK. Can we bring that back? Revive that inner intern that still lives inside all of us? I'm betting good outcomes can come from this.

Thanks to my intern, I am remembering that I love to work. It stimulates me. Working tells me, "Hey, you've got a pretty good brain in your head, good job for putting it to use!" Although I'm going to be a mom soon, I'm determined to still do what I love: WORK. I know I'll love being a mom too, and really, being a mom will be very similar to taking on a new working role and responsibility. It'll be a challenge, a pretty awesome challenge, but like my intern, I can't wait to get my hands dirty in this new job. New adventures are a-coming.

Wish me luck!! And we'll chat again soon.

Space

Here I sit in my brand spankin' new home office. Oh, how I love it. My husband built it for me utilizing some leftover closet space upstairs. How nice of him. I'm going to thank him with his favorite dessert this weekend, a banana cream pie made from scratch. This recipe looks amazing.

So you may remember my complaining over the summer about how being a new Work-from-Home Working Girl was super tough and how I was losing my mojo because I didn't have a dedicated work space? Oh my gosh, what a difference this little office makes. I feel like a real Working Girl again, not a pj's girl pretending to be a Working Girl. In fact, I can't seem to tear myself away, I love this little nook so much!

One of my girlfriends made the cute "cheerful" banner to help me decorate the new space, since cheerful is an attribute she knows I love to (try to) incorporate into both my work and everyday situations. Because a little cheer isn't just for the holidays, you know.

And don't laugh ... but yes, I may have a mild obsession with The Plain White T's. Well, more like with their lead singer Tom. I know, I'm twelve.

Grandpa as a Client

A couple weeks ago I landed a new PR client. As most of you know, I'm a Work-at-Home Working Girl as well as a PR Working Girl. So anyway, this is my most unusual client yet. For one thing, my point of contact for this new client, the CEO/Founder, is 72 years old. He's a sweet, old man. Can I add maybe a little crazy/cooky, too? Sigh.

Over the last couple weeks, I've been struggling to work with him. It's always hard to combine two personalities in a new work partnership so that things work smoothly. Sometimes there are clients who are easier to click with, but others, it takes going over a few bumps and humps, a misunderstanding here and there, to get to where you're like, "OK! I think we've got this figured out!"

I think the main reason for difficulty with this new client is the age difference. I'm 28 years old, he has a daughter who is 30. Yeah, so automatically, he thinks he's a little smarter than me because he can't help but think of being and acting fatherly when speaking with me. And with that age difference comes the hardest part, how we communicate. In our world of email, text messaging, IM, etc. I had no idea I was confusing this guy from the get-go. For example, I had sent him within an email a link to a video I wanted him to watch, and he didn't realize that that blue underlined text was something to click on. He didn't know what a link was! Oh, my. And then, he was annoying me with all his phone calls that seemed to drag on ... oh, his life stories, just what I need to hear. Should I bill him for this time? haha.

Before we made our work partnership official, there were several phone calls. Not a problem, this is normal, except each call lasted 45 mins. or so. OK, old man likes to talk. A lot. I made it a point to clearly spell out my preferred method of communication in my proposal to him: email. I hoped this would lessen the number of phone calls. Nope.

Anyways, sorry to ramble, but I've learned that instead of throwing in the towel like I had wanted to after the first three calls in the first 24 hours of him being my client, I needed to learn a few things. I can't always work with people who are like me. I need to work with people who are unlike me and learn from the experience. So my preferred work style is to communicate via email and his is via phone, why can't we compromise? Of course I could accomodate him, I mean, look at this guy. He's 72 and hiring a young PR girl to help him re-introduce his product to consumers. How cool of him. And this new business for me is coming from a referreal who is helping him build even further exposure through social media. Would your everyday 72 year old man even know what social media is? It's impressive and admirable.

Do you ladies ever struggle with communicating with someone you work with, someone who seems to be on a completely different planet from you? How did you overcome it? This has been such a huge learning experience for me, I can't wait to hear your stories.

What's in a Name?

Hey, Working Girls. Question: What do you think about keeping or changing your last name when getting married?

Say you're like me, and didn't think twice about taking on your husband's last name. After reading this article about reasons why you should and why you shouldn't change your last name, all I can say is "poo poo" to all the reasons why not to.

So there's some paperwork, big deal, grow up. Secondly, I think I got married young enough that I didn't have any notable professional achievements under my name that I was worried about "losing in translation." Credit rating? OK, this is my future husband, if I'm worried about how he'll affect my credit rating, maybe I should be worried about several other things too before saying "I do." And the divorce thing, c'mon, is that REALLY a reason why I shouldn't change my last name? In the grand scheme of things that is a divorce, is that really going to be the thing I'm most worried about? I don't know, it's like saying to your potential employer, why don't I fill out my exit interview survey now, to get it over with, you know, just in case, because filling out that thing will be such a big, huge headache to have to worry about if/when that day should come.

Also, I admit, I wasn't in love with my last name (but purely because of aesthetic reasons, nothing more - don't feel bad, Daddy) and I really, really liked my husband's last name, so I was more than happy to make it my own on our wedding day.

What do you girls think? I can totally understand if you had established your career under your birth name and you felt it was the real you and a new name would confuse important clients and you wouldn't feel like yourself anymore, etc. but I'm still curious as to why so many women want to keep their name so badly. To me, it seems more of a headache to have different last names with all the explaining that comes with it.

I have a friend who is a model, she's been modeling since she was a child. When she was getting ready to marry her now husband, she strongly considered keeping her last name because that was who she was, that was who her clients knew her as, and she had really established herself as a professional model as well as an actress under her birth name. (OK, so for actors/actresses, movie people, artists and writers/authors, it makes a lot more sense to keep a last name, but for regular joes like you and me, is it really that necessary?) Anyway, she decided in the end to take her husband's last name, and the way she explained it to me, it didn't hurt her career at all. In fact, if anything, people perked their ears up a little more wondering who this new person was. Her husband's last name was a fabulous one and just so effortlessly flowed off the tounge with her first name, so in a way, it was like she was able to totally reinvent herself as this new fabulous person with her new married name.

Anyway, just thinking aloud. I hope I haven't offended anyone. I'm eager to hear your thoughts about this subject!

Mirror, Mirror on the wall ... Will this outfit do me any favors at work today?

As women, we spend a lot of time thinking about our looks. It's only natural. One thing I miss about working outside the home is dressing up. Even though my last job had a casual dress code, I still took pride in wearing cute clothes, wearing make-up, having cute hair, you know. Now-a-days, I'm lucky (or should I say, my husband is lucky) if I look any different than how I did when I first wake up. So sad. I honestly always thought I'd be better than that.

But seriously, when most days of the week you're just at home working by your lonesome with only your cat as a companion, looking cute doesn't serve any purpose whatsoever. I may feel better about myself when I look in the mirror from time to time, but it has nothing to do with my work performance.

On the other hand, looking good while in the workplace totally serves a purpose ... all kinds of purposes. Let's start with the job interview. Would you hire someone who looked like me in the mornings? Uh, no you would not. On the job, have you thought about how your looks affect how seriously you're taken by your peers? Like the girls vs. the guys? How about your male boss? Your female boss?

Being attractive always seems to help in the workplace, whatever the situation may be. This is kind a weird topic, hard to talk about, I know. But it's worth bringing up because whether we like to admit it or not, beauty totally affects our jobs, our careers.

There's even a term for it that economists call "the beauty premium," which states that good-looking people get paid better, get more attention from bosses and teachers, move up the ladder faster, etc. What's scary is that during this economic challenge that we're in with so much more competition for jobs, looks aren't just important, they're CRITICAL. And that's according to Newsweek.

I was reading this article in there, "The Beauty Advantage," and quite honestly it made me secretly happy I was a work-at-home working girl where beauty is something I don't have to think too hard about anymore. (Although, I really should try harder ...)

So in this article, Newsweek did this little study where they spoke with hiring managers about how an interviewee's looks affected the hiring process. Get this: 61 percent of managers who happened to be mostly men said it would "be an advantage for a woman to wear clothing showing off her figure" during an interview. OK, wow. It kind of makes me bristle hearing this all officially and everything, but isn't this something we already know in our heart of hearts?

When I was interviewing for my first job out of college, I met with a dude who was one level above the role I was applying for who I technically wouldn't be reporting to, but who I'd be working vey closely with, and I have to say, I looked pretty good that day :) And this guy! He could not look me in the eyes the entire interview. He fumbled around with his questions and kept mumbling. He didn't look like the shy type, but I just think he was caught off guard when he saw me and then it was just all downhill from there. I was hired, and not that he was 100% responsible for that decision, but if this guy could not look at me and could not pay proper attention to me or ask me any coherent questions, how was he supposed to have given a positive recommendation of me to the HR person? Obvisoulsy he based his recommendation on something other than my resume, my looks maybe?

Boy, this makes me sound stuck-up. I'm not, promise. Any of you have stories like this to share?

Also, another interesting thing. A former co-worker of mine, and one of the most observant people I know, pointed this out to me over lunch one day. On our PR team, we were divided into four sub-teams, with one manager overseeing each one. I was on one of the sub-teams, my friend was on another. So one day, she's like, "Have you ever noticed how different our teams are? Like, you can tell Randy* really let our managers hire whoever they wanted to."

And then she proceeded to point out how each manager hired a very specific type of person, mostly based on looks. It was beyond odd. My manager, for example, she said was a guy who clearly liked petite women, that he was a "body guy." Hm, me and the other girl on my team were eerily the same size. Her manager, she said, was careful about hiring females who looked just like her, cute, but not cuter than her, and a little on the curvier side, but not skinnier than her, strong personalities, but not stronger than hers. I thought about their team of four, woa ... bizarrely true. The third manager she described as not attractive in any way, and look at his team. He obviously does not care for looks, but they were all nice as could be. I know, ouch. And the fourth manager, she was kind of a quirky, eclectic girl, and she hired a similarly unique, edgy team. It was soo nuts when looked at that way, but a major eye-opener, too. Looks play a huge role at work, and we may not even be aware of it!

So ladies, I know I didn't really tell you anything new today. But it's just something to think about. Is there anything we can do about it? My opinion is be your best self, inside and out. Ultimately, I think it's your personality and worth ethic that will shine through, but I do think your looks will play a key role in presenting you the opportunity to do so.

*name has been changed.

Mom's Influence

I've been thinking a lot lately about motherhood and being a Working Girl ... especially because it's all hitting home for me right now. Yes, ladies, I'm expecting my first baby, a girl, in February!

So this whole idea, well, I guess reality now, of being a mom has made me wonder about my expectations for myself as a Working Girl and for my new little one. I guess let's start with my own mom.

My mom was not much of a Working Girl. I don't think she liked the idea much. She graduated from college with a degree in Zoology. What the heck are you supposed to do with that?? Then she decided to go into Nursing and dropped out within a year. Next she got a Teaching license and taught elementary school for a couple years. Then she just quit working altogether and decided to be a homemaker. She hasn't stepped into the working world since, let's see, it's been about 20 years??

So growing up, I didn't really have big dreams of becoming a career girl. It just didn't occur to me. I thought I'd just go to college because it was what good kids did and then who knows what after that. Luckily, I took that Intro to Advertising class and found my passion in the Communication field and now I am very, very happy with my career as a PR Working Girl. I think it really surprises my mom that I work. When I told her we were expecting a baby, I think I saw her breathe a huge sigh of relief because she thought I'd never have kids and work forever. Of course I wanted children, but I wanted to establish a career first!

Since I started my own business (PR and editorial) in March and work from home, I think this gives me the ideal environment for still continuing to keep my foot in the working world while also caring for my new family. At least that's the plan. While I wish my mom gave me more of an example of ambition as far as career and working goes, I do admire her for staying home and always being there when my three younger sisters or I needed her. We had a home cooked family dinner around the kitchen table every night, lovingly packed lunches, lots of baked goods on the counter to snack on, a clean house, etc.

But what about for my little girl? (omg, I'm going to be a MOM! It's still sinking in.) Will I push her to be a Working Girl, or not? What will she take from my example? Do I want her to be a Working Girl?

I question that last one because I recently read an interesting article on Forbes Blogs, "Twenty-Something Men Want Housewives to Cheat On." I know, strong title. The gist is that young men these days apparently don't want to marry a Working Girl. They want to marry women like my mom who want to stay home and be housewives and homemakers. But why? The article suggests that it's possibly because they were raised by the generation of moms who felt like they needed to be superwomen, balancing demanding careers and a family and that these young men maybe feel like they didn't have good moms because they were so stressed all the time or just weren't there for them, or maybe they saw the relationship between their mom and dad and felt the relationship was always strained? That perhaps "having it all" had a negative effect on the kids. And then, the cheating part comes in because these young men also don't like the idea of monogamy too much, either. Great.

I don't really know yet if I'm staying a Working Girl because of me, because it's what I love to do and it's such a big part of me, or staying a Working Girl for my daughter to set a good example. And by good example, I hope that means she sees I am happy doing what I love, not necessarily trying to achieve superwoman status. Hm. So much to think about. Sorry this post is kind of a jumble of thoughts. Would love to hear yours.

Never Forget

Looks like I'm holding down the Working Girl fort this week! Ah, summer. Love you. Why can't I be traveling right now?

So I'll make this short and sweet.

Today is a special day. Not only is it the anniversary of the fall of NY's Twin Towers, which we should always remember along with those brave friends, family members and heroes involved, but I think it's also important to remember that moving on and living with a purpose and resolution to live fuller and as better citizens can be our new focus.

Today, one of my best friends gave birth to her third beautiful baby (9 lb+ even!). Today is another dear friend's 31's birthday. And today I am having the best day so far this week. Let's never forget the tragedy, but let's also learn from it and honor those who died by being happy, less stressed, treat someone nicely, do a good deed, be the best we can be.

Say Yes to Saying No

I've always described myself as a "people pleaser," just generally, you know? I like it when people around me are happy. Not just happy, but happy with me. And if someone were to ask me how I'd describe my work ethic, I would also say, "Well, I'm a people pleaser of course!" I can't help it. Well, supposedly, this is a negative thing.

According to a post on Ms. Career Girl, "A Remedy for the 'Pleasing Disease'," there's a lot of us working girls who have this problem, er, "disease." We say yes to too many things. We commit to too many things. We think we can accomplish too many things in too little time. We think we can please everyone with our superhuman girl powers. We think the phrase, "Don't worry, it'll aaalllll work out in the end" applies to everything. But what happens when it doesn't all work out in the end? It's a hard slap in the face. Embarrassment. Guilt. Disaster.

My people pleasing disease got the better of me recently. It was a long time coming, though. For about four years, I helped a friend with her start-up business. I said yes to everything she asked me to do, even offering up my time to take on even more work. All pro bono. I kept telling myself it was for a good cause. That I was learning a lot and that all the hard work was really good experience and great for my resume.

Except, after a while my stress was getting out of control. I felt like I was always running low on time. And when I'd try and sit down to evaluate things, what stood out was this pro bono stuff was sure taking a lot out of me, and for what? What was I gaining professionally? After a certain amount of time, not much. There's the slap.

I think one of the hardest things for us working girls is to cut things out of our lives that are doing more taking than giving. Whether it's that professional club you volunteer too many hours to or that pet project at work you continue to lead vs. delegate that has dragged on and on and on ... or whether it's just saying no, or at least, as Ms. Career Girl suggests, saying, "Let me get back to you," so we can really think about what we're getting ourselves into when opportunites to work and keep (a little too) busy come our way.

Giving my friend an official "no" to more work and literally severing our prior arrangement was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It was worse than quitting a job. Of course I felt it was very personal, and of course I felt bad and reconsidered several times before actually taking the plunge, and of course I wanted to say, "haha, just kidding!" But after it was all said and done, MAN! It felt so good. It was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. In a way, I felt free again.

I really like what Ms. Career Girl says here (emphasis added):

"I could’ve shifted away from over-committal or doing things I didn’t truly want to do. It’s so easy to get sucked in to the excitement of the moment or the positive energy of the person in front of you."

I can't tell you how many times I've felt this same exact way. Now that I know better, I think I'll be able to better recognize when I'm approached by something potentially time-sucking. It's all about balance and there's a time and place for everything. In my case, there was a time for the pro bono work, and I'll always be glad for that experience, but I shouldn't have let it get out of hand and let it control me, I need to be the one in control of my time.

Good Ol' Networking Tips

Building strong working relationships is key to success in any job. But what happens when you leave a job, is it just as important to maintain those relationships? Most definitely.

Sometimes, though, it's easy to say good-bye and good riddance to old co-workers, bosses, etc. and move on to greener pastures without any intention or desire of looking back. "So long, witch-boss, I hope I never have to see your face again!" Hah. Other times, maybe you wish you could keep in touch, but don't really know how to go about doing it in a way that is friendly, yet still professional. Yes, now that's better.

While LinkedIn is generally a good start, you've really gotta go the extra mile and send out a personalized "Hello, what's new my friend?" to make a true investment in maintaining what could be, what most likely is, a valuable relationship. LinkedIn has options to send messages directly to your contacts, making it easy if you didn't happen to grab an email address on your way out. A personal note will show that 1) you're still alive, 2) you're actively moving up and on in your career (assuming you're keeping your LinkedIn profile updated, always a good move), and 3) you care about maintaining the relationship. That last bit makes people feel special. You never know, an old contact may be the door to new opportunities, and your note's warm fuzzy effect could inspire a positive refferral.

In other words, this is what you call good old networking! Another way to keep in touch professionally is to set up a lunch or coffee chat if you and your former co-worker/boss still happen to work in the same city. This is not only a great way to casually keep in touch, but oftentimes can lead to building an actual friendship. And offer to pay for the meal/drink, it shows you value the other person's time and insight. Remember, good karma goes a long way in networking.

(OK, can I just vent for a sec? I love the lunch thing. Except why is it so dang hard to schedule a lunch with more than two people at a time?? I always end up being the "planner" who plans all the lunch outings and get-togethers with old co-workers. When we finally meet up after the world's longest email chain, everyone's always like, "Oh, this was so great, we should do this more often. Why don't we do this more often?" I KNOW, right?? So why don't you plan something one of these days then? OK, thanks guys, I feel better now.)

Facebook is a little trickier. I typically don't friend anyone I work with unless we're really close or until after one of us doesn't work at the same company anymore. And my rule of thumb for friending your boss? Don't do it. If your boss friends you, then that's OK -- but only if you're comfortable. Otherwise, keep Facebook a strictly non-work environment. It's good to keep certain things separate ... work and personal life, definitely one of those things. If you do have a mix, Facebook has some great new privacy settings where you can tailor what your work peeps see (like your basic info and work/education info, no wall and no photo albums, for example) vs. what your friends see (everything).

I still keep in touch with co-workers and bosses from my very first job out of college. I'm not saying I'm awesome at it, I most certainly could do better. But it's something I try to keep up at because work relationships are like friends, but with possible career benefits down the road, be it new job opportunities or simply a sounding board of advice/mentorship.

I'm going to end this post with a challenge. Shoot a note to one of your old co-workers or bosses this week. See what happens. I promise, only good things can come out of this, and at the very least your thoughtfulness will make someone's day :)

This may be an out of the ordinary statement ... but guess what?

I had a GREAT work week! Yup, you heard right. I mean, who says that?

It started off a little sketchy. One of my clients had some pretty bold news that he wanted to go out first thing Monday morning. I wasn't sure how the press would take it, but let's just say that this super influential journalist in my client's industry who has 1,300,000+ followers on Twitter actually read my email pitch and decided it was worthy enough to tweet about. A tweet? May sound minuscule to some of you, but lemme tell you, this guy's influence and credibility is NUTS. As soon as that tweet went out, views on our press release jumped from 700 (which I was already pretty happy about given our other press releases usually averaged 300 views) to 11,000 views in less than 24 hours. WOA. Amazing!! Needless to say, this translated into a ton of online sales, and not to mention crazy exposure, for my client who was just peachy pleased as could be. Yes!!

Lesson learned: I almost didn't reach out to this industry expert guy. In my mind, sending an email to him was like sending an email to some other worldy being like Dr. McDreamy or whoever. Unlikely that it would even get opened, right? But I went for it, and look what happened! This can apply to any of us. When an idea may sound too far-fetched or if you have low confidence in your abilities, don't listen or give in to those negative thoughts. Go for it, and be bold. You never know when it will pay off.

Second cool thing that happened. PR people often have to deal with spending hours and hours writing a press release with perfectly worded sentences and strategically placed paragraphs that go through layers and layers of approval, tailoring creative quotable quotes from company execs that get tweaked a bazillion times, and then when all is done and finalized, at the very last minute, guess what? More changes! It's probably the worst process in the world. Anyway, the point is to get the finished product, this immaculate document, into the hands of a journalist who will use the info to write an article. Ha, "use" is a loose term here. Journalists often twist things around, misquote, and get the info all wrong anyway. Well, not "wrong" per se, but just not what you or your client intended the article to say ... yeah. Over time, I've learned not to write a press release for your client, write it for your journalist. Write it in his/her language and tone and with his/her audience in mind. Anyway, so imagine my surprise and utter glee when I see my own headline from the press release I wrote copied word for word as the title of one journalist's article. Yeah!! In fact, the first sentence of the article stated, "I hate to steal headlines, but this one from [client's name] was just too good." O. M. G. Nicest work compliment ever.

Lesson learned: Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in "rules." A lot of the time, those rules are old and don't make sense anymore. Such as, writing a press release that's completely stuffy and reads like a computer manual. Don't be afraid to question the rules. Have you guys seen, How To Train Your Dragon yet? (Such a cute movie.) There's a lot to learn from that Hiccup kid.

And finally, the third great thing that happened to me this week: I landed a new client! Whoopie!! This new client is an amazing artist, and while I've never done PR for an artist before, I'm way, way excited to take on this new challenge.

Sigh. I wish every week was a fantastic week. These are far and few between, that's for sure, but when it does happen, don't hesitate to celebrate. I know it may feel weird, it's more natural to complain about work than to rave about it. But, that's why we're working girls, right? To kick butt! Now have a great weekend everyone, and look forward to Monday with vigor!!!

Let's Go Shopping!

While I sit here melting at my computer ... ugh, what is up with the weather lately?! ... I'm excited today to help answer a Working Girl reader question! It goes something like this:

"Hey Working Girl! I just got my first job and I need to know where to buy clothes. I've found that Express has some great pants, but I'm having the hardest time with tops. Is it so bad that I want something more classic vs. all the cutesy, frilly, ruffle-y stuff that's out there?"

I'm a big believer that it's not about where you shop, but knowing what you're looking for. As a newbie in the working world, the first thing you want to do is shop for some "business basics" before you go shopping for those fun tops. Check out the short clip below about how to dress professionally on a budget with tips from the Editor-in-Chief of ELIZA Magazine:


How to Dress Professionally on a Budget -- powered by eHow.com

So once you've got the basics down, you can shop for items that will allow you to easily mix and match to get the most out of your wardrobe. Purchasing a variety of fun tops is a great place to begin. Get creative. Choose unique patterns, be a little more bold in color. Below are three of my favorite looks:

Comfortable, yet dressy: I love tops like these because while the loose and airy cut will ensure comfort, the shiny fabric makes it dressy and professional. While you may think fitted tops are attractive, oftentimes they are most uncomfortable and all that tugging and pulling every time you stand or sit down is unattractive. A top like this obviously looks great paired with a pencil skirt (part of your business basics), but will also look fabulous under a blazer or over your Express pants sinched at the waist with a belt or even a wide black ribbon.

A top with pop: Dressing professional can be fun, don't limit yourself to stuffy button-down shirts. For example, look for tops with a little extra flair to it like this button detail with a pleated bib. Again, a top like this will look great under a blazer, a cardigan or a shrug, and then if you get warm, you can take off that extra layer and still look chic. You don't have to succumb to over-the-top ruffles to make a statement, but at least look for something that's different than what you already have in your closet and that makes a subtle statement.



Go sailing: Lastly, one trend that I am loving is the nautical-inspired look. Bold navy blue, black or red striped tops paired wih metallic accessories and/or a dark blazer is a timeless look that can make any working girl's wardrobe exciting and classy.

(Mostly I'm thinking the left or far right image applied to your working girl wardrobe, the middle one not so much.)

What are some of your favorite office looks?

My 10 Year Reunion Update

Well, ladies. I went.

Back in May, I posted a long nervous rant about going to my high school's 10 year reunion and I wanted to thank you guys for your encouragement and feedback.

So my final verdict? 2 out of 5 stars. Lame-ish. Could have spent that money on cute metallic gladiators instead. Looking back, the only good part was my date: my best friend from high school. And thank goodness I didn't bring my husband. The spouses there looked five times more uncomfortable than I felt and guaranteed a hundred million times more bored.

Why it stunk:

1) My graduating class was pretty large, I'm talking 500 students! Even a 50% turnout would have been cool. But how many ended up showing? Oh ... 85 people. Weak!! The chances of me wanting to catch up with anybody in attendence was pretty slim. Turned out to be very true.

2) It only took one look around the room (which was a sectioned off portion of a community college gym, mind you) to see that not a single guy I dated or even went on one date with, was there. It caught me a little off guard that this was something I noticed right away, I'm happily married and had no intentions of chasing an old flame, but I thought it would have been very interesting, fun maybe? to see one or two of these guys and laugh/chat about old times. Am I weird?

3) The mingling was so awkward, just as I had pictured. What made things worse was that as soon as you got there, there were round tables and people were seated wherever they pleased while a buffet-style dinner kept people planted in their seats and not up and about talking to people. I really wish there was something of a cocktail hour first so that people could mingle a bit more and then be seated for dinner. It took major guts just to think about going to another table to talk to someone.

I could go on, but those are my top three gripes. I agree with CityGal who commented on my orginal post about waiting to go to your 20th reunion instead. In 20 years, more things are likely to change, people grow up a little more. I mean, c'mon, some people at my 10 year were still in school! For their Bachelor's.

Anyway, one thing though, I have to say part of me is glad I went. My best friend and I afterwards commented on how proud of ourselves we were for going. We braved the storm. We went in for the plunge. It was like we needed T-shirts that said in big blocky letters, "I SURVIVED."

I guess the lesson learned here is that if you already keep in touch with the ones you care about from high school, there's no point in going to your 10 year reunion unless for curiousity's sake, or to simply say, "I did it." You won't miss much if you don't go, except for that healthy dose of awkwardness that only high school can bring.

What To Be Today, He-Man or Super Girl?

Today I got mistaken for being a dude. Not by the way I look or by the way I dress, but apparently by the way I email. (And I guess it doesn't help that my name is one of those that can be a guy or girl's name, but I always thought people would default girl ...) Anyway, check out this response I got from a tech blogger:

"Fantastic! Thanks man, can't wait to get the word out some more and make some happy readers :) Not to mention getting some more customers your way! Thanks again dude! -Matt"

Just a quick recap for you newbie readers, I am PR Working Girl and I work with bloggers and reporters to get them to help me spread the good word about my clients. In this case, I have a tech client and this Matt person is a blogger who is pretty pumped to review my client's new product on his blog.

SO. When I read this, I laughed. Then, I couldn't help but be like, but wait a minute, um, I'm a GIRL! I take it that the use of pet names like "man" and "dude" signify that Matt and I are now "buddies" ... which I guess is a good thing. I replied back with a simple, "No problem!" I didn't correct him, the sympathetic girl in me didn't want to hurt his feelings or risk him becoming so embarrased he decides not to write about my client. Was that the right thing to do?

As a PR Working Girl, I've learned that I need to "talk the talk" when it comes to working with bloggers and reporters. They are quite cunning and can see right through fluff. If I can talk like them, be like them, think like them, it builds this great crediblity and mojo between us; soon, they trust me and wah-la, we have a relationship. From there, I can then count on them to read my emails and listen to my pitches, and hey, if we're friends, they seem more likely to want to write about whatever news, nonsense or actually relevant, my clients come up with. Just kidding, we always have relevant news to share.

(Is it Friday? My sarcastic side tends to come out full force at this time.)

But when I genuinely get mistaken for being a dude, I have to stop and think if I'm taking it too far. Yes, this has happened before! Should I throw in more femininity in my writing, or just keep pretending to be a guy to those who like to believe that I am? Should I take it as a "professional compliment" that an esteemed tech blogger thinks I'm his bro? What does this all mean in terms of feminism in the workforce? I have a book given to me by an old boss of mine (a female boss) titled, Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman. I guess essentially that's what I'm doing, right?? I feel confused and torn.

Another funny thing about this situation is that my two other clients are incredibly girly, glamorous and fun fashion-y types. So when I'm emailing with them or pitching totally opposite side of the specturm design and fashion bloggers, I have to turn on the savvy and sassy part of me and bring out the exclamation marks, smiley faces and over-use all sorts of adverb/adjectives like "super cute" and "totally adorable," as well as sign all my notes with a loving "xo." (Although, it is interesting to note that Matt himself used several exclamations and a smiley face ...)

Anyone else out there who plays up their "masculine" side, or feminine side, to their professional advantage? How's it working for you?

Getting My Mojo Back

I'm going to blame it on it being June. I'm going to blame it being summertime. Summery, sunshiney, warm, blue skies-ey, birds singy good 'ol summertime ... yeah. Guys! I've totally lost my work mojo, and I need to find it.

It's worse being a work-at-home working girl. I've learned that I have pretty much zero discipline. My first month working from home, I was good. It was like I was a new student, like it was the first month of my freshman year of college where everything was gung-ho and nothing was going to stop me from getting to all my classes and doing all my homework and making my bed every single morning. Wha' happened?

Here's all my excuses.

1) I don't have a dedicated work space. I'm either working from the couch, from bed or from the kitchen table. It's too much temptation to watch a little TV, take a little nap, or go outside and lay out by the dreamy blue pool that I can see outside from my view at the kitchen table. Bad.

That's all I can think of. I'm out of excuses already.

I disgust myself.

What do you girls do to get yourselves out of a rut and into go-getting, turbo-tiger awesome-as-heck working girls? Tips, pep talks, anything ... now, please!

Why I Hate Email

Can I just vent a little? (thanks)

This has been bugging me for some time now. Is it so hard to respond to emails? I mean, really? Do some people just have really bloated egos or something that they think they're too busy and too important to respond to your email in a timely manner? Do some people just think that when someone emails them something, like say, a question, that they're just asking the question for fun and that they're not really expecting an answer? Do some people just think that by ignoring an email, the problem will disappear and the sender will magically and conveniently forget about sending the email in the first place? AHHH!

How about a little bit of email courtesy, huh?? For example, when you receive an email that is asking you a question or when there is an expectation on their part for you to deliver information back to them, the professional thing to do would be to email them promptly with a response. And by promptly, I mean within a day or two, or even three.

Is that asking too much?!

So let's say you really are too busy and unable to respond, is it really that hard to type a quickie wee little note in the interim like, "Hey, thanks for writing, but can I get back to you later on this?" or "Great question, I don't know right now, but please try checking in with me next week," or even a "Sorry, I'm really swamped right now, I promise I will look at this later," is great and much better than nothing.

I just HATE it when instead my emails are ignored and I am left with just waiting. I don't even mind following up, I understand when things come up, when emails get accidently overlooked or when things really are too crazed. But when it happens all the time, then I know there is a problem. Makes me just want to scream and cut my head off.

Seriously, how unprofessional. How rude. And how inconsiderate. Email courtesy has to be some kind of skill, don't you think? Because I've known some very busy and very important people who can manage to respond to emails promptly. And when they do, it makes me feel good, it makes me feel like I'm important to them, like my thoughts and questions matter. On the other hand, when it gets to feeling like I'm sending emails to some inbox stationed in outer space in some other galaxy far, far away, I just feel lousy, belittled and super frustrated. (Can you tell yet?)

If you're noticing a pattern of not being able to respond to emails promptly because of your heavy workload or because of your demanding schedule, then in my opinion, it's time to reorganize and make-over your time management system. Or, if you're the type of person who sees and reads emails but chooses to purposefully ignore them, then shame on you!!

I admit that in several cases, no response to emails has led me to just figure stuff out on my own, but that was when I was I new and entry-level. I probably did ask some dumb questions. But now that I'm older, I've learned that what you send in an email should be well thought out beforehand because it is also courteous of the sender to do her part in solving problems on her own and simply getting the job done, perhaps in a different way than originally planned.

Either way, I can't help but notice over the years that there are some people who simply have no courtesy or professionalism when it comes to email. Probably the nicest, not just most professional thing you can do as a working professional, is to respond to your emails in a timely manner. It's just good karma, and we could all use a little more in this world.

Ok, deep breaths. Thanks ladies for letting me get that off my chest. Any thoughts?

Reunion Jitters

Next month is my high school's 10 year reunion, and for some reason it's really starting to freak me out. Blech, I feel old! An ironic post too given the last one is all about graduation, very nostalgic.

In high school, I was a pretty cool girl (at least in my head). I had a lot of friends and I like to think the popular kids found me tolerable. I was in band (not pep band, that's a totally different world) as a third chair clarinet, and one year my name actually managed to find itself listed as a runner-up for Homecoming queen. I ran track and cross country, I was no star, just average, and I was on the Yearbook staff as Sports Editor. Man, I hate sports, who knows how I ever got that role. And like every other girl, I lived for the dances. My baby sister's prom is actually tonight, aw so cute.

Anyway, so what am I afraid of? Who am I afraid of seeing? I don't know, I just think it will all be very awkward, that's all. Awkward because I haven't kept in touch with anyone (except for my best friend, we're going together btw, thank goodness for her). Awkward because I feel like the small town I grew up in isn't "home" anymore since I haven't been back in years and since my family moved away after I left for college. Awkward because I think most of my classmates stayed put, and according to Facebook it looks like many actually married each other. Can we say insta-clique?

And speaking of Facebook, a lot of us have reconnected over the years. Yet, we don't do anything beyond friending each other. So technically, I don't think Facebook counts when it comes to "staying in touch" ... hm, unless you count Facebook stalking? So I don't keep in touch with anyone, yet thanks to Facebook I still know how many kids people have, where they went to college, what they had for breakfast, how they feel about the weather, oh and I've even seen all the pics from their last vacation and probably left a cute comment in there somewhere, etc. All that personal stuff! AHH! Yet when we see each other next month, I'm betting it'll still feel like 10 years are between us. So awkward! See why I'm freaking out?

OR, what if I get there and me and an old classmate start talking and everything. And what if what I remember about her isn't what she remembers about me? Like, I remember something good (i.e. that we were friends) and she remembers something bad (i.e. that one time I made her mad and she ended up hating me forever and I never knew about it)? Ugh, the horrors.

And what exactly am I supposed to wear to the reunion? On TV, it's always the picture of, "Oh, I have to look super sexy and have really white teeth and nicely-toned arms so that guy I had a crush for three whole years will regret he never hooked up with me." I guess the good news is that I don't have any kids, so I don't have any baby fat to worry about losing in four weeks ...

Also causing me jitters is the inevitable, "So what have you been up to these past 10 years?" question. I've been thinking a lot about this. So, what have I done? Did I accomplish all I've wanted to do? Did I land in the career I've always wanted? Do I have any regrets? Am I a better person? Have I changed the world yet??

If you've been to your high school reunion or have one coming up as well, I'd love your empathy and advice. Everyone else, please, just tell me it will all be OK!

Don't Talk to Me

Ladies, how do you feel about making and taking personal calls from your desk phone? I've always had the weirdest, weirdest issue with it.

Mainly, I can't do it. Well, now I work from home, so it's not a problem for me anymore (that would just be really weird), but when I used to work in an office, I had this unexplainable phobia of talking to anyone who wasn't a co-worker or somehow otherwise work-related.

I could never talk to my husband, for example. I totally laid down the law about him calling me at work unless he absolutely had to. When we did talk at work, OMG, it would make me feel so uncomfortable, my voice would change and get all quiet, like I was pretending I wasn't actually talking to him and that he was just another co-worker or not even that, like a stranger! The worst was when he would say "I love you" before hanging up, and I'd just be like, "Yeah, um, OK bye."

Or, if I needed to schedule an appointment somewhere, like at the salon or at the dentist, I didn't feel comfortable doing it at my desk. Instead, I would write the number on a post-it note and then go outside to make the call on my cell phone. Isn't that so lame of me?

I don't know why this was on my mind, but I was just thinking this was a really strange pet peeve (of my own doing) that is office-related and I wanted to get your opinions. So I'm wondering, is anyone else weird about personal calls at work or is it just me? My previous co-workers seemed to think nothing of it. They'd carry on conversations with just about anyone and couldn't care less that we all could hear every single word. Cubes aren't exactly sound proof. And you can't help listening in, you know?

Maybe that's why. Maybe I was too embarrassed to have people eavesdropping on my personal conversations. I also felt like phone conversations at work should be kept to work-related stuff. Personal calls should be taken outside or during your lunch break. I know that sounds Nazi of me, but that's just the standard (if you can call it that) I held for myself. I didn't really care that much when other people had personal calls at work.

Thoughts, anyone, about "office phone etiquette"?

Your Career, Your Adventure

Two things: it's officially wedding season (I've got three invites taking up precious cute family picture real estate on my fridge) and second, it's I'm-so-busy-with-work-I'm-gonna-freak-any-minute season.

I guess it's good to be busy. I really liked Ali's comment to Healthcare Working Girl's "Just a Bit Frazzled" post about how we should probably count our blessings if we're busy because the opposite is much worse. Good luck to you, Ali!

So in my last post, I asked the audience if there was anything anyone would like to know about the PR industry. This is a Working Girl blog and we have several fabulous industries represented here, so want to make sure you're getting what you're looking for! I'll focus on answering Mrs Soup's questions. Here's her comment:

"I'm always interested in what pulled people to their job. Also, how you got started/what education/what intrigues you/what do you like about the PR world. At 28, I still don't know what I want to be when I "grow up" and it's starting to drain on me."

Mrs Soup, you can read my intro to Working Girl here which should answer all your questions. Since that post, however, note that I quit my job and am now working from home where I manage my own freelance writing and PR business, which I am really enjoying. Number 1 perk: sleeping in everyday until 9:00am or so ... ahhhh, there's no way-no how I'm going back to the corporate world after this. LOL

I think now-a-days, what you want to be when you "grow up" is no longer a fixed thing. People's careers are constantly evolving and you have to be flexible and really get in tune with your gut feelings and follow what drives you and what gets you all fired up. Follow your passions. While the downside is that you may feel lost or confused as you're figuring out what your passion is in the first place, the up side is that you have so many options to choose from. Maybe you're not completely happy at your job now, but think of it as the stepping stone to something better. You're probably learning great skills now that will benefit you later on, or meeting people now who can help you later on, and so forth.

Be patient. And think of your career as an adventure that began when you were just a kid. What did you want to be when you were five? Isn't it amazing how things have changed since? When I was a kid, I wanted to be a nurse, then a teacher, then a marine biologist (I loved sharks, but since I failed at practically every swimming lesson ... yeah, NEXT). In high school, I dabbled with the thought of going into graphic design, and by the time I entered college, it was broadcast journalism. And then you know the story from there: advertising, public relations, and today it's freelance writing and public relations. Who knows where I'll go next?! I'm not sure if even I've hit my sweet spot yet, either, you know, if I'm exactly what I want to be when I "grow up" too. But I know that I'm happy, and I know that I'm learning, so that's all that really matters to me right now.

Yeah, who knows, maybe I'll jump ship again and enroll in beauty school and become an esthetician. Seriously, I'll admit I've thought about it :)