Tuesday, October 19, 2010

All The Single Ladies

It's time that I share with you all a big part of who I am. I think we've known each other long enough at this point, don't you think? You all know that I'm a Lawyer Working Girl, but what I haven't shared thus far is that I am a Single Lawyer Working Girl. Yes, Working Girls, I am Single. Now, I know you're probably thinking, "So what? So am I." Well, I feel like it's a big part of who I am because I've been single most of my Working Girl life and I've almost gotten to the point where I can't imagine it any other way.

Don't get me wrong. I do love men. While I do enjoy my singleness, I do desire the companionship of a man (in fact, I'm currently seeing one). But I think I've gotten so used to it just being me that I wonder "Would I like something or someone interrupting my groove?" I'm used to coming to a quiet home, my home, and having my space and my me time after a day at work that I wonder how I will handle having to share my home with someone else.


But then I think back to Sex And The City and I think, I hope, that I'm like Carrie. Do you remember the episode where she comes home and Aidan is full of questions about how her day went? And she finally tells him to give her time when she gets home before getting all in her face (Ok, she didn't say it exactly like that, but you know what I mean). Well, a few seconds after she walks in her room, sits on her bed, and gathers herself, she goes back in the living room, climbs in his lap, and asks him what he's doing. See, I already know that the Carrie in the first part of that scene will be me. I will need some time to breath and collect myself when I first get home from work. I'm hoping, and honestly I really think that I will be like the Carrie in the last part of that scene. The one who will eventually want to snuggle up to my man and who will be happy that he's there sharing my home, our home. I just think that I will need a bit of a time to get used to the idea.

Ok, so then once I get past that sharing my space thing, I start to think, "Is he going to expect me to cook after I've worked a 10 hour day?" It's just me and I rarely cook for myself when I get home after a long day at work, so I know I won't have the energy to cook for me plus one. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to get that man who will want to cook for me.


And THEN, I start to think, "Oh.Em.Gee. Kids." Will he want kids? Will I want kids? Will I be expected to work a 10 hour day and come home and cook for Me & He Plus Three? Who has that kind of energy? All I know is that when I come home now to my empty home after work, I am usually exhausted. Add a man, kids, and maybe a pet and I just don't know how I would do it all. I will no longer be able to come home, plop on my couch, doze off, eat a bowl of cereal for dinner, watch Real Housewives, and doze off again. I would have to come home, prepare a healthy dinner, help with homework, spend quality family time together, put kids to bed, deal with any household tasks (pay bills, create schedules, clean, etc), have some us time with my husband, and then have my me time. (Wow, I got tired just typing all of that.) How do you Working Girls with children, and particularly you Single Mother Working Girls, do it all?? And am I the only Single Working Girl who has thought about this? (Why I'm even thinking about any of this is beyond me. You would think I'm on the cusp of becoming a Married Working Girl. Not even close.)

10 comments:

jobsfornaija.com said...

Not married yet, and the thought of all that work scares me. looking forward to the comments on this post

RW @ TrueBeauty said...

It's all in the man...so to speak. I am a working girl finishing my MPH as of December...YAY! And, I've been married for 3.5 years. I used to think the exact same way as you, but then I married my husband and things really couldn't be better. He helps out so much and that is the key to balancing the working girl, married girl and some day working momma roles. I really couldn't do it without him. We both work, but I have an hour commute....and I arrive home almost every day with dinner prepared which is AHHMAZING! So, my advice to you is to continue on in your singleness until you find a man who gets your "working girl" nature and is willing to split the home life, domesticated chores 50/50 with you.

Angeline said...

Ditto RW -- I would definitely not have gotten married as early as I did (at 23) were it not for my husband. I've always been very career driven, and he's always been very supportive. In fact, since he's still in grad school (finishing his ph.d. this year), he understands that his schedule is a lot more flexible and he takes on the majority of errands and daily duties around the house. Great thing for me is he hopes to be a college professor, so this flex schedule thing could continue even after he graduates, which will come in handy when we have kids someday.

Jill said...

I think the same thing. I can barely manage my own life and i have very limited free time. Throw in living with a guy or kids, and I don't know how I'd do it. I get home at 7 most nights and then not til 8:30 or 9 on my dance teaching night. On weekends is when I mainly do all my cleaning/errands. If I had a guy there, I'd have more cooking and cleaning to do and more time to spend. I am recently single now, but the guy I was dating and I were in a long distance relationship for over 2 years, so it was basically like I was single most of the time.

I guess it would take some organizing and dedication to adjust your life to fit others in it. At 24, I know I'm just not ready for that kind of step yet. Give yourself a few years to settle into the full time working routine more.

Katie said...

I agree with you. I would definitely be the first Carrie. When I get home not only do I not want to do anything, but I don't want to even talk to someone else. I cherish my "me time" because there's so little of it working 60+ hours a week. The idea of throwing in a man who's always around wanting something scares me.

Rebekah said...

I lived by myself for two years before I got married. And it was an adjustment. We've been married a year, and sometimes, I still think, "Oh my gosh. Get out of my space." But with the right guy, it doesn't matter. It's all worth it. I work in journalism, so I have a crazy schedule. Sometimes we don't see each other (except seeing the other asleep) for a couple days at a time, and I actually miss him a lot and want to wake him up. Even though it would mess with my me time.

Lawyer Working Girl said...

So it seemd that the key is being with the right guy, because the right guy will fit into your Working Girl life smoothly. I'm also starting to think that if someone else is living with me, I will probably feed off of his energy and not feel so tired when I get home because there's someone there to talk to and hang out with. Thanks, Married Working Girls for letting us Single Working Girls know that it's not as big of an adjustment as it seems.

besswess said...

I am currently single and I think about these things all the time. I just don't know if I can be a good partner.

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