Can I be honest with you all? I mean, really honest? Yeah? Ok, good. Sometimes I ask myself, "If I had it to do all over again, would I still go to law school?" My answer: "I don't know." Yes, it's cool to be able to tell people, "I'm a Lawyer Working Girl", but when it boils down to it, do I really, I mean REALLY, enjoy what I do? Would I do what I do even if I wasn't getting paid for it? If I could choose any career and it would be mine, would I choose the legal field? I can answer all three of those questions without hesitation: "No."
I mean, don't get me wrong, in this economy, I am extremely grateful to be employed. I understand that there are many lawyers out there who are unemployed and who would jump at the chance to step into my shoes, sit behind my desk, do my work, and collect my paycheck. I know this. While I don't necessarily enjoy what I do, I won't complain. Now, I do realize that in my previous post I said that I enjoy the work I do. Yeah....about that. I think I spoke too soon. I really do like most of the people I work with, but I think enjoy was the wrong word to describe how I feel about what I do. Maybe I should have said like? No, that's still not quite right. Tolerate. Yeah, I think that's it. Tolerate. I don't hate it, but I don't enjoy it. I'm somewhere right in the middle.
So when did I realize that I don't enjoy my 9 to 5? When I got a chance to totally immerse myself into my passion. When I talk to people about my passion, I've been told that they can see in my face and hear in my voice how passionate I am about it. When I'm talking about my passion and working on my passion, I feel like I'm 100% in my element. My true personality--fun, sociable, excited, happy--comes out. When I'm at work, sitting at my desk, not so much.
So what is my passion, you ask? Well, I'm doing it right now as I talk to you all. And no, I don't mean watching Jeopardy is my passion. I mean, what I'm actually doing. Right. Now. Blogging! Not just blogging about anything, but blogging about my real life and blogging about the other things that I'm passionate about. Sigh. It brings me to my happy place. So each day after I punch the clock at work, I come home and work on my passion, and one day, I hope to make a full-time career of it.
Wait. Did I say I work on it every day after work? Ok, I may have stretched the truth on that a little bit. Everyday after work, I have good intentions to work on my passion. As I walk out of the office I plan in my head what I want to work on that evening. Unfortunately, what I plan in my head doesn't always happen. Too often I come home, turn on the TV, eat dinner, pick up a book, check my email, send a few tweets, update my Facebook status, have full conversations via text message, and fall asleep before I get any work done on my passion projects. Sometimes, I think that everything I want to accomplish just seems so big that I just keep putting off doing any work on it at all, but because I eventually want to turn my passion into profit, I realize that I must stop procrastinating. I recently read an article about how to conquer procrastination and learned that I must set a series of deadlines for myself rather than just look at the project as a whole.
It's funny, because I never really considered myself as a procrastinator. At work, everything has a deadline. That's just the nature of the industry in which I work. Clients, opposing counsel, and judges are not going to accept any excuses about why I missed a deadline. So from 9 to 5, I have no problem getting my work done on time. I don't know why it took me reading that article to realize that that's what I've already been doing at work and that that's exactly what I should be doing when I'm working in the evenings and on weekends on my passion projects. So, I'm going to pull out my pen and notebook and start breaking my projects up into smaller tasks and set deadlines for myself...just as soon as Flipping Out goes off...or maybe tomorrow.