Monday, February 16, 2009

I <3 New York

This past weekend, I dragged my dad to see Confessions of a Shopaholic with me. And just as the opening credits were rolling, he leaned over and asked, "Is this making you homesick?" 

The film was shot in New old home. And I think what I was so taken aback by in that question was that when he said 'home', I instantly thought of New York. I do think of myself as a New Yorker (or Jersey girl really, but for the purposes of this post let's just say New Yorker). New York is where I did my growing up and a lot of soul finding. It's where I left behind some of my closest friends and greatest memories. It's where I had my first job. So I think New York will always be home to me. 

Which leads me to my answer, which was yes. Yes, I am homesick. I think it's hard not to miss the things that are the most familiar to you. I miss being able to go out to dinner with my NYC friends on a moment's notice. And I can't even tell you how jealous I was that everyone just drove to Mohegan Sun to celebrate our friend's 24th. I miss being comfortable with the subway system, and confident that I'm great at my job. 

Moving to Chicago has not been easy. It's a daily struggle. And I know I've said over and over that I've made the right decision (to about anyone who will listen), and I know it's not just to convince myself. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and I'm proud of myself for coming to a city that I barely knew and reforming those friendships with my high school friends, and healing my relationships with my family and for getting a new job, and trying out new things (like yikes bikes). 

At the bar this weekend, as I was sipping from my beer tower, I realized that I started over. And it was hard. And some of it was easy because I had my family and old friends. But a lot of it was hard, and it still is. But I started cool is that?

Last night I baby-sat for my cousins (one of whom is my goddaughter) and it was so nice to just be there in that moment. To have them know my name, which wasn't always the case every time I came home for the holidays in the past, and for my goddaughter to fall asleep on my stomach as we watched Hannah Montana - the greatest show ever made. And then when I got back to the city, my dad drove me home and told me goodnight and that he loved me - in person. And I realized that yes, I did make the right decision. Because if I left them, if I left Chicago, I would be homesick. For the first time in a long time I would be homesick for Chicago and all that I had left behind here. 

(I have to apologize for this post because I know it's not about work, and this blog is But I'm running on about five hours of sleep because this is my hell week at said job and I had a brain fart about what to write about. And then this popped into my head and I just went with it. So enjoy my sincerity and this picture below of New York and Chicago blended together like they love one another). 


B said...

To have a healthy work life you have to have a healthy life life. (or you know, personal life.) So it's good to address these things, even in the context of work, no?

I love this: So enjoy my sincerity and this picture below of New York and Chicago blended together like they love one another.

That's a lot of awesome. :D

Starting over or making a big change like that is huge. I did it 5 1/2 years ago and am still surprised how much of a big deal it was and how much it changed me and shaped who I am today.

Danielle said...

I love this post! Very honest and real and relatable. Honestly, I needed to read something like this right now, you have no idea!

Anonymous said...

No apologies necessary. Your blogs are amazing no matter what, and life changes are part of being a working girl. So thanks!

Anonymous said...

Well, it's nice to know I wasn't alone being homesick this weekend!

momcat said...

Rest assured that you are where you need to be at the moment.

Sunny said...

This post is lovely. It's common knowledge that working girls do have business not related to work sometimes :)

~Mary said...

Love this post. Last year I started over by moving to Scotland, and it has been very hard...but it's making me a better person and my marriage stronger being away from all we know. Change is always hard, but worth it.

High-heel gal said...

I saw "Confessions" this weekend too and it made me want to move to NYC even more! Starting over is rough - I've done it twice now, but think of it as an investment in your future - you did it because it was the best option in order to move-up in your career. Who knows, perhaps one day you'll find yourself back in NYC ;)

Ms. Liryc said...

I have yet to see that movie, but my girlfriend and I are supposed to see it today. I must say that New York has its great qualities and its bad ones too.. Coming from a New Yorker I will always call this place home because this is where my family is based at but to be honest I am so done with living here.

I think home is where you make it and having that relationship with family is a great thing, and rekindling old friendships are awesome. New York misses you, but the great think about this place is that though you've left and gone on, you can always come back and it'll still be here and nothing will be different.

Enjoy chi-town!!

remember moments said...

great post. i find myself homesick quite often as well, I think any of us whom have relocated have felt this way.

Love the picture!

Red from Ktown said...

Ah....but there's not a better place to land from a girl from NYC...CHICAGO-baby!! Right?? Best, second best city around.

Kudos to the starting over thing. I know I couldn't do it. Not without a really huge beer tower or some quaaluds slipped into my fresca.

Herding Cats said...

I enjoyed this post - a lot. I totally relate. Good luck with match. I was a skeptic and freaked out by it, but I found my best friend and boyfriend of over two years on it so....shrug. It can happen!

mary evelyn said...

kudos to you for starting over, and getting out of your comfort zone. that's something i think about doing all the time, moving to another city and starting over. to see if i can do it. i think i could, but for the moment, i'm happy here.

thanks for the sincere post, and i love the picture :o)

Anonymous said...

I get it! It's been years since I was doing my thing in NYC and whenever I catch a bit of a show/movie shot there (there are SO many!), I get a pang of sadness and eagerness to go back. I just don't know if that will ever happen. That's why I have to get my fix through bloggers that live there! :)

It's so funny that your dad went to see Shopoholic with you...I can't imagine my dad accompanying me!

Bleighton said...

Hannah Montana really is the best show ever made! :):)

Glad you're happy about venturing out of your box. It's super difficult and you're so brave for doing it!