Thursday, February 14, 2008

Will You Be Working Girl 2’s Valentine?

This morning, I began to miss the good old days – where Valentine’s day meant sugar and valentines from every single one of your classmates (it was mandated in our school so that people like Needy Nelly and Stinky Stanley didn’t get snubbed). I miss grade school because the same formula always resulted in a pink and red, candy-hazed day that left me floating on air. The day before the big “V”, your whole class would go to town on an old cardboard box (preferably a Doc Marten box to look cool) and make a mailbox full of hearts, which would the next day be filled the brim with Barbies, Disney characters, and Power Rangers wishing you a “Happy Valentine’s Day!”. After receiving all your valentines, you’d huddle together with your girlfriends, trying to figure out if that squiggle next to latest crush Brian F.’s name meant that he had a crush on you or if the kid who smelled like fish thought were “the one” because he sent you a Mickey Mouse valentine instead of a Goofy one. Then, you’d consume lots and lots and lots of sugar in the form of “room mom” homemade cupcakes, lollipops shaped like hearts and Hershey kisses.

After witnessing my first ever workplace Valentine’s Day, I’ve decided that grade school V Day’s are a lot like work. Because like grade school, the workplace is awkward and there are boundaries to which you can express your love (or you’ll be slapped with a lawsuit). For example, I have received from my co-workers the following items: a hand-me-down jewelry box, a tube of Dermalogica Treatment Foundation, a piece of chocolate, two candy hearts asking me to marry them, and a card with a dog on the front. Like grade school, I analyzed over the “Marry Me?” hearts. Does he want to marry me? Or is he kidding? I mean, I’m pretty sure he’s already married. Remind me to ask around the office.

And just like grade school some of my presents were odd like the hand-me-down jewelry box and the foundation, but I chalk that up to me pressuring my best office friend (who I must add is pushing fifty and gay) to get me flowers and this is what he stole from his roommate before he got to work. Thanks, really means a lot (said with dripping sarcasm).

I did not receive flowers today because I am one of those dreaded singles who flock to the bars tonight trying to find another single to take home with them to fill the empty void in their life (can you tell I hate this holiday yet?). However, the girls who did receive flowers today flaunted them like no tomorrow. The receptionist got two bouquets (ok, so maybe one was from her dad, but hey, I have a dad too!), and the girl in the cubicle next to me got a vase of tulips, a girl in edit got roses, and a girl two rows over from mine got a teddy bear, a box of chocolates and a vase of wildflowers. Obviously, the girl two rows over took the prize for the most presents. But just like grade school when the girl with the most candy hearts packets took home the “Most Liked Girl in Our Class” prize, this girl took the home the coveted title of “Most Loved by Her Boyfriend”. Touching. I don’t know about you, but I much prefer my hand-me-down jewelry box to two dozen, long stem roses.

But next year, could someone please send me something? I’ll even take a fruit basket. I’ll admit, the competitiveness has turned me into a desperate school girl at a seventh grade dance (material stolen from Dane Cook since I am brain dead from all my back-to-back meetings).


Kat said...

Umm . . . Needy Nelly and Stinky Stanley. What kids did you go to school with?!?

Yeah, Valentine's Day kind of stinks after sixth grade when the need to have a boyfriend is crucial for some kind of romantic gift.

p.s. Working Girl 2's Dad didn't want to embarrass his daughter by sending her flowers at work.

Pam said...

I miss the days of decorated shoebox mailboxes and those fun character valentines. I remember one year, my crush gave me a Spiderman valentine that said "Be Mine". It made my month. Who knew Spiderman was so romantic?

Don't worry Working Girl 2, yesterday I was excited to come back to my desk after a meeting and see that someone had mysteriously placed a chocolate heart sucker on my keyboard. I got all excited about it, wondering who gave it to me. I asked around and no one knew...and then I heard the accountant laughing. I asked her if she gave it to me and she said, "Oh yeah it was a free gift from a vendor and no one else wanted it. I can't afford to eat all those calories."

Gee, thanks. Yeah, I ate it and it was delicious.

Everyone in my office dressed in black today. It was a bit creepy. I guess I missed the "gothic dress" memo that went around.

Ad Girl said...

Don't worry Working Girl Two - my boyfriend warned my yesterday morning that he wasn't going to send my flowers to work because "he though it would embarrass me," (i.e. he forgot to order anything in time). Next year I'll send you a big bouquet of roses with my smiling face plastered on the front of it!

Laura said...

WG2- I thought I was your valentine? Did last night mean nothing to you? I took a FLIGHT for you.

Lisa's Blog said...

i got a valentine once from my crush in 1st grade..and he knew i watched 90210, so the valentine said "top secret. love, david silver" with a big pic of brian austin green on the front.

yea, meant to be.