Monday, March 10, 2008

Happy Birthday To Me

I was completely under the assumption that today was going to suck. Just the thought of having to go to work on a Monday makes me nauseous, but having to go to work on a Monday when it's your birthday – wow, talk about a double edged sword. So if you haven't guessed, today is my birthday and it's a Monday and I was not only dreading today because it's the start of the work week, but also because my birthday won't be on a weekend until I'm 28 or 29. I know, I know I'm whining (something I'm really great at by the way). Surprisingly, today has unexpectedly been a great birthday and I would like to give you a replay of one of the most random, awkward and terrific birthdays I have ever had.

7:00 a.m. I am awake after Timbaland serenades/scares the shit out of me as "The Way I Are" blares from my cell phone. My eyes feel like they are sewn shut because I woke up on the hour every hour since I fell asleep at one a.m. because Mondays make me an insomniac.

7:15 a.m. I get out of the shower shivering because our building is devoid of hot water in the mornings.

7:45 a.m. I put on my "birthday outfit" – a sweater dress that my Dad (a.k.a Jim) bought for me. Thanks Dad! I love this little number.

8:15 a.m. I leave the apartment for my 10 block walk to the PATH. I'm late because I just had to curl my hair today.

8:45 a.m. I got on the late PATH train into the city. But I snagged a seat after jumping over a pregnant lady. Hey, it's my birthday. Cut me some slack.

9:05 a.m. I arrive at work and there is already a line for the elevators (yes, a line). I wait ten minutes for an elevator and then ride Elevator 4, which I have named the 'Other Tower of Terror'.

9:06 a.m. Everyone on the elevator screams when the elevator drops between floor 3 and 4.

9:07 a.m. I arrive safely on floor 10.

9:17 a.m. The Boss arrives at work and greets me at my cubicle and sings "Happy Birthday" to me in a falsetto voice. And she doesn't just sing one verse, she sings the whole thing while I awkwardly sit there saying 'thank you' over and over. Then she hands over the booty. Oh yes, she has bought me a gift. A bracelet and earrings from Banana. And they are awesome. I wear them all day.

9:44 a.m. I get serenaded by another co-worker. The "Happy Birthday" count is now at 2.

11:55 a.m. The Biggest Loser voting results are announced. I am safe for another week. I'm pretty sure it's only because it's my birthday.

1:06 p.m. My best work friend, who is gay, pushing 45, and Cuban, announces that he and three of my other co-workers are taking me to lunch. Tater tots for all.

2:45 p.m. A guy I hooked up with once (I repeat, once) during my sophomore year of college at a music festival in Wisconsin writes on my Facebook wall. It reads, "Happy Birthday. *grin". I didn't know I had made such an impression...on such a creep.

3:22 p.m. The entire office brings over a platter of mini-cupcakes to serenade me for the third time today. Again, I sit awkwardly in my cubicle and say 'thank you, thank you' over and over. Then I eat two cupcakes and kiss my weight loss this week goodbye.

4:00 p.m. I have a meeting with The Boss. She gives me about five new projects. All that need to be done before 6 p.m. Awesome.

6:07 p.m. My gay, Cuban and pushing 45-year-old best friend escorts me to the PATH station. On the walk, he asks me if I would consider marrying his new boyfriend Jose because he needs a green card. And he's serious. He offers me to let me move in so it can be like 'Three's Company' - "only gayer". I think it would make a good reality show - "Two Latinos and a Irish Girl."

8:03 p.m. WG1 surprises me with pretty cupcakes! And I have what every Birthday Working Girl needs at the end of a long day - a glass of pink champagne.

Today wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, it was an overall entertaining birthday full of singing, cupcakes, tater tots and even a proposal (even if it was from a gay man). And I think I might even be looking forward to my birthday next year -- when I will be turning 24 on a Tuesday. Hey, at least it won't be on "Hump Day".


Anonymous said...


So I can't believe your boss got you a birthday present, correction two birthday presents. That's pretty sweet.

For sure marry Jose. And I will call MTV to see if we can get some cameras out there so you can be taped. Oh my gosh, I am thinking True Life: I Married a Guy to Get Him a Green Card. Classic.

Kerry said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (sorry its late)
That was a really funny post, the part about the pregnant lady made me laugh & your cuban friend :)
I hope you had a fun day!