Dirty Night In

The season premiere of "Dirt", FX Network's popular drama centered around the life of Lucy Spiller played by Courtney Cox Arquette the executive editor of the tabloid magazine, Dirt Now, opens with a warning: "The following is rated TV:MA. It contains strong language, violence and nudity. It is intended only for mature audiences. VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED."

I am a new viewer and I am officially scared.

I'm also frightened of the plot. The "previously on" clips show Cox Arquette's character being stabbed by disgruntled actress Julia Mallory because Dirt Now has 'ruined' the actress by showing her addiction to painkillers, uncovering that she leaked her own sex tapes to the press, and oh, Lucy Spiller has been sleeping with the actresses's now ex-boyfriend and actor Holt McLaren. Promptly after stabbing Spiller, Mallory runs away only to be hit by an oncoming car and Spiller slips into a coma. Whew, I missed a lot last season. I made a mental note to rent season one at Blockbuster over the weekend if I end up liking this episode.

And it looks like this weekend I will be holed up in my bedroom watching secrets being exploited and stars' lives being ruined because I am in L-O-V-E with "Dirt". The premiere opens with Lucy coming out her coma only to immediately to utter the word "cover" to the only character on the show that she seems to have any real connection with - paparazzo Don Konkey. After doing some research, I find out that they knew each other in college when they were in the journalism club together (how sweet). I also find out that he is schizophrenic, which I promptly look up online after his cat starts talking to him. But I digress, back to the plot line. Lucy wakes up, asks to see the front cover of Dirt Now after being in a coma for two weeks, and it seems that everything is going to go back to normal.

Let the drama begin. The second season story line reads like Anna Nicole Smith's life. Martina Lynn married a rich, much older man for his money, he croaks, to protect her fortune she hires a lawyer who she then begins to date, gets pregnant by said lawyer and then her son from a previous marriage OD's on methadone. The front page baby picture story ends up turning into much more when a paternity test reveals the lawyer is not the father.

Much of the drama follows the same pattern: celebrity has picture taken of them, they confront Lucy about the pictures, Lucy threatens them by saying 'unless you have a bigger story to give me, then this is front pages news'. Needless to say, the story lines are sticky and therefore sweet.

My favorite part of course are the Working Girl journalists played by Courtney Cox Arquette and her staff writer Willa McPherson. Lucy is a strong working woman who puts aside anything personal - her life is obviously the magazine. Willa appears to be a girl who will do anything to get ahead, which is apparent when she does a short monologue at the beginning of the show saying she tried to do Lucy's job while she was in a coma, but still has a far way to come to be the executive editor and then admits that she rehearsed the speech in order to suck-up. I like the full of gumption, go-getter attitudes of the female protagonists (even if they are a bit slimy, but hey it's a show about tabloids people, I think we should expect some slime).

I'm going to be adding a little dirt (and slime) to my weekly TV routine. To watch "Dirt" tune into FX on Sundays 10 p.m. eastern/9 p.m. central.