Monday, September 15, 2008

I Don't Smoke...But I Do Read PerezHilton.com

I have noticed lately that a lot of my fellow employees are smokers.

How can I tell? Yellowed teeth? Check. Reeking of smoke? Check. Vacant from the office at inopportune times? Check and check.

For real, it doesn't bother me that my co-workers smoke. It's their prerogative and their addiction to face. But should their guilty pleasure come with 5 minutes away from the office throughout the day? Because that my friends, those 5 little minutes, make me jealous. And have on occasion made me want to start puffing (but cigarettes are expensive and I am poor).

Those 5 minutes are literally written into our company handbook. Something along the lines of all "employees are allowed five (5) minute cigarette breaks during the work day". Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating. So they probably are really only allotted two breaks per day and they have to be speedy quick. But again, I'm jealous. Very jealous in fact. Leading me to make my next statement. I feel it's somewhat unfair.

Just because I don't choose to fill my lungs with smoke a few times throughout the day doesn't mean that I shouldn't have a break for my own addiction/guilty pleasure. Yes, I think you all know where I'm going with this. Instead of getting a smoking break, I would like to institute company-wide Perez Hilton breaks. Or People.com. Or Pink is the New Blog. Whatever your Internet addiction, I think we non-smokers deserve our own little daily breaks.

I'll admit it. I have an addiction and it's to trashy celebrity gossip in the form of little nuggets of information that Perez Hilton dispenses (almost) on the hour. I keep my hand on the mouse to refresh almost every second of the day. It's pathetic and sad, but I own up to my disease.

Ultimately, I think it's the fair thing to do employers of the world. We gossip blog addicts should get our junkie on with just a little bit of silence just like our fellow smokers.

36 comments:

Ken said...

It's been a while sense I have posted "Sorry".
But trust me you don't want to start smokeing! I have just quit 2 months ago from a 39 year smoke habbit, And I still get cravings every day!. I gave up a drug habbit 6 years ago and was pretty much over it in weeks.

I don't plan on quiting the blog addiction, not with the black box out there! lol

Michelle said...

After his whole "let's get a petition to have britney's kids taken away from her" stint... I stopped reading that blog. My life is much better now that I don't read his "blog".

Fidget Midget said...

I too, have always thought it unfair that smokers get rewarded with little breaks during the day whilst the rest of the non-smokers kept on working. I always felt weird taking a break... like it wouldn't be a justified break unless I was smoking (which I never would do) :P

High School Girl said...

I truly hate when people devote their time to those cancer sticks! But as you said, its their decision.

I really relate to this post!

Tassie said...

I totally agree with your post. I think that if you have some other addiction than smoking, then it should be recognized with a break as well. Mine wouldn't work, since I'd be watching The Office during those five minute breaks. Really, who can just watch five minutes of that show?

Non Sequitur Chica said...

OH MY GOD I TOTALLY AGREE. While the smokers are off smoking and not being productive for those five minutes, I have to stay in the office and do work. Meanwhile, those same smokers will be less productive down the line when they develop cancer, emphysema, etc. and die early. While I am stuck working at my desk.

(okay that was a little harsh but I completely agree with your Perezhilton break!)

Jade said...

I was just ranting to a friend of mine recently about smoke breaks. As a fellow non-smoker I agree that it's bullshit that they get a break(s) during the day that I don't get...to literally slowly kill themselves.

Come to think of it there are other addictions that are supported in office settings other than smoking i.e. coffee/espresso breaks.

Do non-coffee drinkers get mad when people go for a quick cup-a-joe? OR do they just pull out their XX Monster Energy Drinks and bong them in their cubicles?

missBee said...

When I was a student and working at the supermarket, I used to pretend I smoked, just so I could have my little breaks and chat on my phone! I always kept a box of smokes in my bag, just incase a manager saw me not smoking on the smoking bench!

Sarah said...

I completly agree with you! I have often thought that was so unfair that just because they smoke they don't have to do work during that time. I use to be a waitress and almost everyone there smoked and while they decided to smoke and be on "break" I was double sat and super busy but in the end I did make more money getting more tips and tables while they lost buying more cigs and taking breaks. Luckily my new job has 2 mandatory breaks a day that are 15 mins each. It's pretty nice! :)

Jessica said...

W-h-a-t-e-v-e-r...just go ahead and take your own break as it's well-deserved. No one says you can't. It's your prerogative if you take a break or not...it doesn't mean it's only meant for smokers. We have several coworkers that go in the break room or take mini-walks or whatever just to get away from their desk. I say go for PerezHilton.com! You deserve it just as much as we deserve to crystalize our lungs.

Virgin in an Active World said...

I know exactly what you're saying! It's the same at my office and so a co-worker and I have implemented our own "smoke breaks". We'll just sit outside and take in some fresh air for a couple of minutes or pull our chairs aside and chat. We are definitely guilty of having some non work internet time sprinkled in our day too...

Caz said...

I SO agree! Have been a very occasional social smoker I totally picked up smoking while I worked in a cafe. The smokers got lots of breaks while non-smokers got none!!!
Of course I quit smoking right after I quit the job, but still.

It pissed me off that 'bad habits' were rewarded with breaks and 'good habits' were forced to pick up the slack when the smokers couldn't deal and said "OMG I need a ciggy right now" and bailed.

Erica said...

I agree... and Working Girl is my guilty pleasure!

SMR said...

Well, as a smoker I agree with you that non-smokers should be allowed 'fresh air breaks' too. However, you did say that you refresh perezhilton constantly. That does not a five minute break make, I'm afraid.

Well done for going down the easy route of holdingup smokers as the bad guys of the world.
Nevermind the stats that the countries with the highest smokers have the least amount of lung cancer or that smoking has dramatically decreased while asthma and other respiratory diseases have increased. Doesn't make sense, does it - if smoking is meant to cause all those nasty diseases with no other factors, like diet or your mode of transport to work?
I'm done with justifying myself because I partake in a perfectly legal activity.
Happy blogging.

Jenn said...

Totally agree with that! I brought it up with my boss (that other people got fag breaks not that we should have perez hilton breaks -although thas a great idea!) so I said I shall take fesh air breaks -which meant walking round the shops for a bit! It's only fair!

DomestiGals said...

ROCK ON! Perez is my main addiction too, and I totally support web-browsing while your colleagues are off puffing on their cancer sticks. You go!

Elle said...

I don't smoke, but there are times when I have exercised the "fresh air" break, opposed to the cigarette break, i.e. - if smokers can go stand outside to puff away, then I can go out and experience some "fresh" air instead. It's only fair! Why should it be only smokers who get the perk of a little office escape time?!

JayVee said...

Don't read Perez - Read Oh No They Didn't, way better... but I'm with ya - if you don't smoke, doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to take a mental break during the day. :)

Me! said...

I agree -- us nonsmokers should at least get extra soda breaks during the day or something. Because seriously? Frosty cold sodas are my little cancer sticks ... but without the cancer :-)

I used to work for a very small company (25 employees) and they implemented a "no smoking" policy. Not sure if that's legal, but it was quite entertaining to watch how creative the smokers got in hiding their breaks!

Downbeat said...

I've taken it upon myself to implement my breaks from the work day on my own. I used to read Perez Hilton and dlisted until I started feeling their negativity bringing me down. Now I read Jezebel or pop into my Google reader occasionally during the day. It's only fair. I haven't made a big deal out of it, and nobody's given me any lip about it. I guess no one cares as long as the work gets done, right?

Bow Chica Wah Wah said...

This is totally me! I work with a lot of older people and it seems they all smoke... not I... I take Perez Hilton breaks =)

LOVING YOUR BLOG

Rima said...

I don't really read gossip blogs, but I can still understand your addiction.

Anyway, I think it is kind of crazy that nowadays even lots of students start to smoke at a very young age .(I remember a girl who started it before turning 10. Gross.)

I seriously don't understand why are people so addicted to smoking. But it's their life, after all. The thing that bothers me is when they smoke around me, and don't care how much others hate the smell of it.

cassette45 said...

At my work, they strongly discourage smoking - even paying for employees to get help quiting. (one girl recently did a laser treatment).

However, when I was working summers in college, it pissed me off major to watch the smokers head outside to their "spot". It wasn't the smoking that bothered me either. It was that we'd see some of the same people stand out there (5mins at a time) almost once an hour.

I don't know that I spend my 5min "smokers" break reading blogs. Maybe I'd ask for an empty room to do 5min yoga. ANYTHING to get away from the desk for a few.

Bombchell said...

lol this reminds me of an episode of friends with Rachel & her workmates

Mary De Bastos said...

I couldn't agree with you more!!
I use to work for Applebee's and only smokers gogt breaks....stupid huh!? so I use to take me a coke and sit on the toilet aand enjoy my coke with the bathroom door shut so no one could see me!! I deserve a break too!!
Just because they suck on cancer sticks doesn't mean we shouldn't get a break! amen sista!!

Ginger said...

It isn't fair or legal that they are allowed all those smoke breaks and you are not.

One way to combat this is to go for Fresh Air Breaks. That's what I used to do.

If the smokers could go out for 5 minutes for a puff, then I can go out and get some fresh air for the same amount of time. If anyone ever questioned me on why I was leaving, I would tell them just that.

There shouldn't be favouritism in the office, even if it's unintentional.

Belle said...

I agree! We have a really pretty campus, and the smokers can go outside and enjoy it. If a non-smoker goes out there to sit for a few minutes, co-workers just think we are goofing off and go "why isn't she at her desk?!?!"

Lauren said...

Oh, I definitely agree. At my office, while some take their smoke breaks, we take our walk breaks. Rather than filling our air with smoke, we walk around the building. Sure, it doesn't do much, but it gets us up and moving. And it's so much healthier!

Fran said...

I have felt the same way for years. It's led me to believe that pretending to smoke is the way to go!

Belowen said...

I think that is totally unfair! But I say that as a non smoker for a company that rewards and encourages heathy lifestyles... We are allowed to clock out to work out at the free gym downstairs , but I can't imagine them letting us take extra time for smokes!! LOL

claire said...

I'm not such a PH fan (I met him once and he was totally disgusting), but I feel you on the breaks. it's scientifically proven that breaks make you more productive. seriously.

The Excuse Eliminator said...

I don't smoke, but I have been known to take smoke breaks. When my smoking friends head outside, I'm right with them (but I stand down wind so I don't get the second hand smoke). In the winter, they're on their own though. You've given me a great idea though. When it gets cold and the smokers head outside, I'll stay in and surf the warm and toasty Internet until they get back!

factorygirl said...

I know exactly how you feel. It makes me so mad when smokers get their "5" minute breaks that always seem to turn in to 10 or 15 minute breaks. They should allow the same breaks for non-smokers.

Just a 'it' girl said...

I know just how you feel. Although I'm not in an office job(yet), as I am too young. I work at a fast food place, Tim Hortons to be exact, and the smokers are aloud out for a few breaks a day, along with their nourmal break. I've had a day when it was super busy, and there were only 2 of us working one on drive-thru and one on frount counter, the smokers conviently took their break during the rush that lasted about 20 minutes. Then they happened to finish when the rush was over. How convient. Its times like that that make me push harder in school so I'm not makeing coffee my entire life.

kokostiletto said...

hahahahaha that is a great idea!!!!

jaime. said...

If you like Perez, you absolutely neeeeeed to get hooked on The Superficial (www.thesuperficial.com) I think the writer is light years (what the hell does that even mean??) more outrageous, funny and even profound (seriously!) than Perez. Please don't be mad at me when you have to go to counseling for your addiction. It's THAT good.