Bartender: Here you go.
Dwight: Wait a minute what is this? I didn't order this.
Bartender: For you. [points to basketball players] From them.
Dwight: Oh. [pours out the drink]
Ryan's friend: What are you doing man?
Dwight: Not safe. Anything could've been in there. [to the girls] Nice try.
And the quest for someone to “bear” Michael’s fruit continues.
Ryan, former temp turned New York manager, comes back to the Scranton office to talk to the branch about sales and why they need to stay in on a Saturday to convert their sales that they made on the phone to sales made on the Internet which couldn't originally be made on the Internet because of a little sexual predator problem the new Dunder Miflin social network had. To which Kelly responds, "If I had made a website that had this many problems, I would kill myself." Classic. Which reminds me, can we please get more Kelly-isms on this show? Thanks.
While there Ryan admits that he gets “unreal" girls at the clubs in New York, which of course translates to Michael as an open invitation to stalk him by getting Ryan's whereabouts from his assistant, because according to Michael it's not the horniness, it's the loneliness and he needs a girlfriend STAT (yes, caps were necessary).
Michael and Dwight enter Club Prerogative (love the Britney reference!) and surprise, surprise Ryan is actually excited to see them. And it seems that they only friend Ryan has is a very, very short bearded man who Dwight says resembles a J.R. Tolkein character. I have to agree with Dwight on this one. Later in the episode Dwight makes out (yes, full on tongues a real woman) who he refers to as an Amazon. To Dwight, New York is like a sci-fi fantasy novel. And again, I would have to agree with him.
Back in Scranton, Jim & Pam come up with the brilliant idea to convince the whole office to just work late on a Friday instead of coming into work on a Saturday. Everyone agrees and are then stunned to find out that the parking lot has been locked and they are now stuck in the office. Ok, so blah blah Jim calls the security guard, they can't remember his name blah blah. The best part of this entire plot is when Pam winds up to throw a football and clobbers Meredith right in the face.
And I would love to high-five whoever wrote the extra super awkward scene where Toby practically paws Pam right in front of the entire office. He then announces that he is moving to Costa Rica and is "going to jump the fence and jog home now". Superb writing.
Ryan has a drug problem? Yikes, bikes. Even more frightening, letting Michael and Dwight sleep in his apartment. I wouldn't want to see the aftermath of that in the morning.
Sidenote: As WG1 and I watched Michael order chicken fingers and a Midori Sour at the nightclub, WG1 turned to me and said, "That sounds like the greatest meal ever."
Indeed, it does WG1. Now I know what to get you for your next birthday meal.