"The Office" is My Office

It was week two of my first job out of college and I had just received a meeting request from my CEO for a "Family Meeting" that coming Thursday at 5 p.m. My first thought was, 'It's official; I am working for Michael Scott' and my second thought was, 'I wish Jim Halpert was here to raise his eyebrows and smirk at this e-mail'. It was there and then that I realized I was working at 'The Office' - as in if a camera crew followed me around my life would resemble Pam's (since I am also a lowly assistant).


I started watching "The Office" because of my lovely college roommates and it became a tradition to watch it on Thursday nights with a bottle of 'Mommy's Time Out' wine (one for each of us of course!) and laugh at these poor schmucks who have to work at a paper company. As I sipped my chilled white wine I always thought how great it would be to work in an office like that one - full of Olympic games and hilarious co-workers like Dwight. But let me tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

First off, those "Family Meetings" could not be more painful. Our CEO talks about the state of our business, birthdays are announced, two year anniversaries and promotions are celebrated and then the "Employee of the Month Award" is given out. Ring any bells? Yes, we have our very own Dundie awards. And I'm not gonna lie, I would like to win.

This is only the beginning of the similarities between my work place and the fictional one on NBC. For instance, the way Michael Scott is constantly putting his foot in his mouth by insulting his employees. Welcome to my life. These family meetings are open game for our CEO to insult us. He called out one of my co-workers who had gotten divorced, married, and then divorced again in her 5 years at our company (eek!) and once told a horrifically inappropriate story about an employee's hare lip (yea, I don't even think I need to say 'eek' for you to know that is oh so very wrong).

As the Marketing Coordinator, I often have to plan office parties. In this respect I am like Angela the resident party planner with almost no budget (I'm lucky if I can the OK to purchase a cheese platter). In my almost year long career I've had to help plan a few office parties and they all stand out for one reason or another.

At our holiday party, our legal team (which is oh, just one person) sang "I Like Big Butts" by Sir Mix-a-Lot. A sexual harassment lawsuit in the making? I think so.

I also helped plan a 'tea party' for some beauty bloggers and was then forced to play maid/waitress and serve all eight bloggers plus The Boss and the President of my company while being videotaped for a streaming video for the beauty blogger's website. I am now famous for being able to serve green tea and organic muffins and low-fat brownies. Embarrassing? I think so.

My favorite party I planned was what I have dubbed the 'Funeral Party'. In an effort to make our company more green, more global, and more fresh and young, our company turned our magazine completely digital. And then our CEO decided to have a party to celebrate the 'death' of our print magazine...with quesadilla platters, cheese & crackers, and those 'brownies from that place I love down the street'. Was he serious? Of course.

All we're missing is our very own Dwight. We are currently taking applications for a paper-loving beet farmer. He'll fit right into our little 'family'.